Tales from the ToiBox

Review: Love Bunnies

2011-04-25T18:26:00.000-07:00

Tired of plastic eggs and marshmallow peeps? Why not reward yourself this Easter with a Love Bunnies instead! Love Bunnies are a fun, adorable new product from Babeland. Shaped like a chubby pink bunny, this inconspicuous item looks more like a child's toy than a vibrator. In reality though, this cuddly, cute little wabbit is actually a bullet vibe in disguise! It would make a great gift, or a charming addition to your Easter decorations.

The Love Bunnies came packaged in a bright, colorful cardboard box. The exterior features grassy hills, snow-capped mountain tops, a bright blue sky, and a cheery rainbow. Multi-colored Love Bunnies prance through the cartoony scenery. It's pretty dern cute, if just a little bit cheesy. Inside you'll find your toy safely secured in a plastic casing. Besides the toy itself (and thoughtfully included batteries), the only other item inside the box is a small cardboard 'Adoption Certificate', complete with blanks to both name your bunny, claim yourself as its owner, and list its new home. I was completely tickled that the manufacturer thought to include this.

The Love Bunnies vibrator has an abstract rabbit-like silhouette. It doesn't have any discerning features (like a nose or eyes), but if you ask me, that's part of the appeal. It's comprised of a large circular body, a smaller circular head, two ears, and a nub for a tail. Everything but the tail is 100% hypo-allergenic silicone. The tail itself is actually a small one-speed bullet, and is made of ABS plastic. The bullet is 2 1/4" long, and slips into the body of the bunny via a comically large hole on its butt. It slips both in and out without fuss, which makes for very convenient clean-up. The silicone body can even be sterilized by removing the bullet and either boiling or bleaching it. The whole toy is about 3" long from head to tail, 2 1/2" tall from base to ears, and 2" wide. It fits comfortably in the palm of my hand, and is easy to hold and maneuver when in use. The silicone body is velvety to the touch, but still retains a bit of drag to it. It's fairly firm, and reminds me a bit of an eraser, or a pencil topper in that regard. The ears are significantly less stiff, and actually bend quite easily for both comfort and convenience.

The Love Bunnies' bullet runs on three watch batteries. The batteries, to me, are one of the biggest downfalls of this product. They die remarkable fast, and are difficult to remove. If rechargeable watch batteries existed, I probably wouldn't be nearly as disappointed with the Love Bunnies as I currently am. My suggestion: adapt this item to run on AAA's. A small black button on the end of the bullet controls the toy. The bullet is a simple one-speeder, so the only real functions it features are 'on' and 'off'. The vibrations are light and buzzy, and not particularly strong. I wasn't really surprised, but I wasn't disappointed either. The strength and depth left me somewhere between teased senseless and tickled silly. It sounds like a strange combination, but I actually enjoyed it. The vibrations can be felt along the entire surface of the toy, but they are by far strongest in the head and ears. The smooth expanse of the rabbit's face makes a wonderful pleasure point when using this toy, but the ears are also incredibly pleasing. The ears were practically made to snuggle up on either side of your clitoris, and they transmit the vibrations wonderfully without diffusing their already less-than-breathtaking strength. In all honesty, this isn't a toy I turn to often, and it certainly isn't inept at bringing me to orgasm. That said, it's adorable, discreet, and fabulous for teasing yourself or a partner. It's not really going to rock your world if you're sex-toy-savvy. It would, however, make an excellent toy for a beginner, or a gag gift for a lover or friend.

Use soap and warm water to clean. Water-based lubes only. Treat it right, and it'll return the favor.

This product was provided to Tales from the ToiBox for free by Babeland in exchange for an unbiased review.

Review: Décor Stashe Pillow

2011-04-12T03:11:00.000-07:00

I always find myself enamored whenever I discover an adult product which is discreet, stylish, and functional. So imagine my delight when I was given the chance to review the Décor Stashe Pillow from Liberator! The Décor Stashe Pillow is part of Liberator's new Home Collection, which is a series of items designed to look mundane, but have some much more interesting uses. The Décor Stashe, for example, appears to be nothing more than a stunning throw pillow. However, the Stashe has a secret; it's actually a crafty storage device, capable of hiding away even your most obtrusive of playthings from prying eyes!

The Décor Stashe Pillow is 12" long, 12" wide, and 4.5" thick. It's about the size of a standard throw pillow, and when tossed on a bed, just looks like a lovely accent piece. It comes in 6 gorgeous color combinations: Black, Buckwheat, Gray, Espresso, Merlot, and Aubergine. I chose the Espresso, which is a rich, chocolatey brown over a dark purple backdrop. The exterior material is comprised of soft, plush velvish and sensual satin. Two decorative velvish flaps fold over the satin backdrop and tie together with a stylish ribbon. Concealed beneath one of these flaps of fabric is our secret compartment. A cleverly hidden zipper running along the pillow's edge opens the storage space, allowing you to stash whatever goodies you have to hide! The compartment is lined with a black, water-resistant nylon. The nylon interior will protect the rest of the pillow from spills, should you choose to store lubricants, oils, or other liquids inside. A generous amount of polyurethane foam provides excellent padding on either side of the compartment. The padding not only makes this pillow incredibly comfy, but also helps prevent damage to your toys. It will not, however, protect the toys from banging into each other. So if you decide to store multiple glass/ceramic toys in your Décor Stashe, you may wish to first slip them into individual pouches to keep them from clanking together.

I absolutely adore the Décor Stashe Pillow's design. Its simple elegance gives it the versatility to blend right in, whether used on a standard cotton bedspread, or $300 silk sheets. It's sensual and gorgeous, without being incriminating or drawing unwanted attention. When I first laid eyes on it, even I thought it was just an average decorative pillow. And really, unless someone tells you otherwise, that's all you're going to see. I will say, however, that sometimes you can catch a glimpse of the zipper at the far corners of the pillow. This is hardly something you'd notice from across the room though, or even up close, unless you were thoroughly inspecting it.

Aside from its style, versatility, and discreetness, I was also incredibly surprised at just how much this bad boy can store! It doesn't look very large at first glance, and even when unzipped, it seems like the padding would take up too much room to leave much space for storage. Astoundingly (gleefully) I was wrong. You would not believe the massive amount of items I could fit into the Décor Stashe Pillow! Five clitoral vibes, three rabbits, a cock ring, a HUGE wooden dildo, four glass wands, three ceramic massage stones, a blindfold, a set of restraints, and a bottle of lube; just a small army of toys and sexessories, to be exact. The possibilities with this baby are endless! Fill it to the brim with playthings, or use it to keep just one or two favorites handy. Seeing as we're never at a loss for storage space, I've currently been using the Décor Stashe Pillow to keep a few otherwise forgotten items close at hand. Specifically the massage stones, massage lotion, and a few of my favorite glass pieces that normally get buried in the trunk of toys. The cushy, soft foam makes the Décor Stashe comfortable to lie on, even while hiding your secret hoard inside. It's sure to fool almost anyone, whether it's roommates, in-laws, children, or nosy house guests. Just don't let anyone pick it up; the weight will more than likely give it away.

The only problem I've had with the Décor Stashe Pillow is the interior lining. It tends to get caught quite frequently in the zipper, no matter how careful I am. I'm just nervous that one day it's going to rip. Excluding that one little issue, I'd have to say that the Décor Stashe Pillow is practically perfect. Thanks so much to my friends over at Liberator for sending me this one for review!

This product was provided to Tales from the ToiBox for free by Liberator in exchange for an unbiased review.

Meet us at Eden Cafe!

2011-04-10T04:56:00.000-07:00

Looking for a fun, friendly, informative place to find articles on sex, love, and everything in between? Meet us at Eden Cafe! Eden Cafe is a by the people, for the people blog, run by the lovely folks at Eden Fantasys. It's a cornucopia of advice, personal stories, opinion pieces, and facts, all written by real people, and compiled in one place for your convenience. New articles are posted daily, and I never find myself bored with the strange, awesome, out there, and totally relate-able topics. You might be surprised how much you have in common with someone seemingly so very different from yourself. What's wonderful about Eden Cafe is it gives each person the opportunity to tell their stories; tales that you might never otherwise get an opportunity to hear. I love being able to do something as simple as read an article, and in that short space of time, gain so much insight into someone else's way of life. Sure, there are times when I don't always agree with an author's opinion or perspective, but then there are the articles that open my mind, expand the horizon of possibilities, and make me question my beliefs and understanding of the world. Even if you're just curious about a certain topic, Eden Cafe's got you covered. Trying to find resources on BDSM or fetishes? Eden Cafe has a section for that. What about health, body image, sexuality, porn, gender, and LGBQT? Don't worry, there are sections for those too. Eden Cafe posts articles on a variety of topics, ranging from family, friendship, dating, and marriage, to adventures in g-spotting and sex & parenting. There's a little something for everyone, whether you're looking for a good read, or wanting to share your own expertise/experience on a subject. Eden Cafe even hosts weekly giveaways with the chance to win some truly fabulous prizes courtesy of Eden Fantasys! Free sex toys, fun articles, and informative resources? What's not to love! So pull up a seat, cozy up with your laptop, and prepare for a good time. While you're visiting, why not submit an article of your own? The submission process is easy, and you might even snag a gift card for your trouble!

Review: Scooby Doo a XXX parody

2011-04-04T21:46:00.000-07:00

The gang is back and they've got another mystery to solve: Where the heck is Scooby Doo?! The film begins after a hard night of partying. Shaggy comes to with a wicked hangover, only to discover that his bestest bud Scoob is missing! The rest of the gang rallies together to help find their lost pal. Putting their bang-up detective skills to work, this crack team of sleuths track down their four legged friend, and catch a criminal in the process. Horny hi-jinks ensue!

Read the full review on Eden Fantasys by clicking here.

$0.00Scooby Doo a XXX parody

DVD by New Sensations

Stars: Michael Vegas, Chad Alva, Bree Olson, Bobbi Starr
Director: Eddie Powell

Buy from EdenFantasys

This product was provided to Tales from the ToiBox for free by Eden Fantasys in exchange for an unbiased review.

Blogoversary & A Birthday WINNERS!!

2011-03-16T01:25:00.000-07:00

I apologize for taking so long today to post the winners of the Blogoversary & A Birthday Giveaway. As some of you know, yesterday was my birthday, and I went a little wild with the celebrating. I had a late start today, followed by plans with my family, so I just didn't get to this as quickly as I'd hoped! Anyways, let me just say wow; there were a surprising amount of entries for this giveaway despite it only being a week-long event! I'm pretty impressed you guys. Alright, so down to business. Who won what?

The Small Red Crystal Delights Plug goes to... Beanfiddler!

The $25 Eden Fantasys Gift Card goes to... Cassondra!

The Babeland Body Massage Candle goes to... Deadpoet!

Annnd.. the Ten 30 Minute Cards to HotMovies.ca goes to Angel!

Congratulations to our winners! Please use the 'Contact' form to claim your prize, and be sure to include the address where you would like your prize shipped. You have 48 hours to claim your prize, at which point if you do not, another winner will be selected. Thank you to everyone who participated! Be sure to keep an eye out for another BIG giveaway coming soon from Tales from the ToiBox!

Review: OhMiBod Club Vibe

2011-03-12T13:29:00.000-08:00

Today we'll be taking a look at the Club Vibe by OhMiBod. OhMiBod is a product line developed by the brilliant bombshell Suki Dunham. The Club Vibe, like every other product in their line, is what is known as a music-driven vibrator. This tiny inconspicuous bullet literally encourages you to 'feel the music' by translating your favorite songs into an orchestra of pleasure. Just stick it in your panties and take it for a test drive! The Club Vibe is designed for use in both private and public settings. It can be used in manual mode as a plain old pattern vibrator, in music mode by attaching it to an mp3 player, or in ambient mode. Probably one of the best ways to use this baby is by switching it to ambient mode and wearing it to a club or concert. Ambient mode will detect sound around you through the speaker holes on the control pack, and relay it to the itty bitty pink bullet in your pants, which will consequently buzz in merriment to the music. The result? Wet panties and a damn good time.

The Club Vibe is compiled of a variety of parts. The first and most important part is the control pack. The control pack is made of ABS plastic, and has a smooth, velvety finish to it. It's black with pink markings, rectangular in shape, and about the size of my palm. It has a clip on the back to easily attach it to your pants/skirt/etc, and is fairly inconspicuous, if a bit larger than I'd like. In total, the control pack is 3" long, 1 1/2" wide, and about an inch thick. Like I said, nothing too ridiculous size-wise. You could easily hide this under a jacket or shirt, as long as you're careful to keep the speaker holes free of obstruction. The second piece of the puzzle is the vibe itself; a cute pink bullet roughly 1 3/4" long, with a 30" transparent cord attached to its butt. The bullet is made of that same velvety finish ABS plastic, and is hypo-allergenic, non-porous, and both phthalates and latex free. Yay for body-safe sex toys! The third item you will receive is a 55" long black cord which connects the control pack to your mp3 player, and your mp3 player to your headphones. This item is only required when using the Club Vibe in music mode. If you plan on using it for its ambient or manual settings only, you'll have little use for this cord. The last little goody that comes with your Club Vibe is a cute black thong, thoughtfully folded up in a small drawstring OhMiBod storage pouch. The thong is made mainly of cotton, with lacy accents. It has quite a bit of stretch and will fit a range of sizes. However, it should be noted that it's marketed as a 'one size fits most', not one size fits all, item. Trust me when I say it really isn't a huge loss if the panties don't fit. I, personally, found the panties to be more of a hindrance than a help in my quest for orgasms.

Let's talk about function here for a minute. The Club Vibe has three modes of play: manual mode, music mode, and ambient mode. You can change modes using a textured switch on the side of the control pack. When in manual mode, there are 7 preset functions to choose from. The first three settings are steady vibrations in low, medium, and high. Or, in the case of the Club Vibe, more like medium, high, and OMG higher! The last four settings are a mixture of pulsing/escalating patterns, some of which are quite rhythmic all on their own. The vibrations can be felt along the entire length of the bullet, and are pretty incredibly strong. It should be noted that the vibes are rather buzzy, however. If you're not a fan of buzzy vibes, this should still be pretty amazing for you, but then again, it may not. The vibrations honestly made me itch a bit at first. Anyways, back to the modes! When in music mode, the bullet will vibrate to the sound of whatever song your mp3 player happens to be playing. You can control the intensity of the vibrations by either turning up the music, or adjusting the dial on the bottom of the control pack. Nothing against the presets, but music mode is so much more fun and unpredictable! Ambient mode is the last of the three. Much like music mode, the bullet will vibrate to the sound of music. However, it picks up the beat of music around you, rather than through an mp3 device. All three modes have a little something special to offer, and help to insure you pretty much never get bored with this toy!

So, how do we use this bad boy? I'll break it down for you in five relatively simple steps. Step One: Insert the batteries. The Club Vibe runs on two AAA batteries (included) which are inserted in the back of the control pack underneath the belt clip. Slide the battery cover off (you may need to battle with it for a few minutes), insert batteries, and return cover to its rightful place. Step Two: Connect the controller to the bullet. Merely plug the cord attached to the bullet into the top of the control pack, and phase two is complete. Step Three: Don the combination cotton/lace thong, slip the bullet into the pouch in the panties, adjust as necessary. If you're having difficulty getting the bullet to stay in place well, or aren't receiving sufficient stimulation while it's tucked inside the panties, experiment until you find something that works for you. Nestling the bullet between my lips seemed to be the most efficient and fulfilling for me. It stayed in place MUCH better, and I could actually feel the power this vibe has to offer. This bullet packs some intense vibrations, and you don't want to miss out on them just because the bullet pouch in your underwear is too high or low for your anatomy. Don't be afraid to go against the grain and try something different! Step Four: Connect the controller to your mp3 player. Here's where that huge black cord comes into play. Pay attention, this is where it gets confusing. You're going to plug one end of this cord into the control pack, the other end into your mp3 player's headphone jack, and then plug your headphones into the extra headphone jack dangling off the cord. Note: If you're using the Club Vibe's ambient or manual mode, feel free to ignore step four and skip straight ahead to step five. Which brings us to our final destination; Step Five: Activate device. Enjoy music of choice.

Once you've wound down from your pleasure high, be sure to properly care for your Club Vibe by dissembling it, and cleaning up with your method of choice. I prefer good old antibacterial soap and warm water, but toy wipes, toy cleaner, or isopropyl alcohol are all viable options as well. Wash and dry the panties like you would your delicates (don't worry, they stand up fairly well to the big bad machines). When all is said and done, return each and every piece to its rightful place in the original packaging. Or, you can just do what I do and cram it all in the storage pouch. I know it seems small, but that thing can stretch! Give it a try, you'll be amazed!

Alright, here's where I'm going to nitpick. There were a few things I disliked about this product; not many, but a few. First of all, I wasn't very impressed with the ambient mode. You really have to be in a loud club or concert-like setting for ambient mode to work well. If the music isn't loud enough, you have to be very, very, close to the source of the noise for the Club Vibe to detect much. Nitpick #2: The panties. The panties didn't work well for me at all. The pouch that's meant to hold the bullet was never in the right position to stimulate my clitoris, and the vibrations I did feel were way diffused because of the fabric. My biggest problem with this toy, however, were the miles and miles of cord. I honestly felt like I had a fucking wire down my pants; like the FBI was investigating my genitals for 'suspicious activity' or something. The wires aren't that big of a deal in ambient or manual mode. However, music mode is my setting of choice, which means whipping out the huge black cord and connecting the bullet to the control pack to my mp3 player to my headphones every damn time I want to use this! It then becomes somewhat of a big corded mess. I would not suggest doing much moving around while in this state, for fear of entanglement. My only question is, why the hell isn't this wireless? The majority of the OhMiBod line has gotten with the program and gone cordless, why not the Club Vibe? [/end nitpick]

Alright, so spoiled grumbling aside, let me just say that I really enjoyed the OhMiBod Club Vibe. It's a great sample of this extraordinary, innovative, truly original product line. There is literally nothing else like this on the market right now, and if you don't give at least one of OhMiBod's products a try, you are seriously missing out my friend! You can find the OhMiBod Club Vibe and other OhMiBod products at Kama Sutra Closet! A big thanks to the folks over there for sponsoring this review. Thank you again!

This product was provided to Tales from the ToiBox for free by Kama Sutra Closet in exchange for an unbiased review.

Blogoversary & A Birthday Giveaway!

2011-03-07T19:36:00.000-08:00

Let's set the record straight.. I've been a bad, bad girl. I'm willing to acknowledge this. I abandoned my blog, my readers, and friends. I left unfinished reviews and unanswered questions. Some believed I had been kidnapped, or worse-- that I was dead! So yes, I'm feeling a bit of that thing we call guilt eating away at me right about now. But hey, I know the perfect way to make it up to you! After all, bribery solves everything. That's right, you guessed it... It's Giveaway Time!!! :D And what an appropriate time to celebrate, too. After all, today is my Blogoversary! And hey, March 14th marks my 21st birthday! Yet another reason to give away free stuff. So basically, this giveaway is part apology, and part excuse to remind you all why you're so damn happy I was born. But really, are you going to complain about my motives here when I'm waving free stuff in your face? I didn't think so. Well, what are you waiting for? Help me celebrate the birth of my blog and I, and win some swanky swag in the process!

The Swag

So what's up for grabs, you ask? Take a look, sweetheart!

#1. Red Magma Small Glass Anal Plug courtesy of Crystal Delights

Crystal Delights manufactures some of the prettiest plugs I have ever seen! If you haven't had an opportunity to try a glass butt plug yet, now is your chance! Perfect for anal explorer's of all experience levels, Crystal Delights plugs come in multiple sizes, and are available in a wide array of colors. All Crystal Delights products are natural sex toys made from materials that are 100% body friendly and body safe. Check out more Crystal Delights toys, found on VirtuallyAdult!

#2. $25 Eden Fantasys Gift Card courtesy of Eden Fantasys

Eden Fantasys is one of the top rated adult retailers on the web. They have a huge selection of products, including toys for him & her, erotica, DVD's, lubricants, condoms, edible treats, mess-free sheets, gags, gifts, whips, crops, restraints, & more! With goodies to fit anyone's budget, EF remains one of the most affordable, trustworthy sex shops out there. Discover some of the amazing sex toys they have to offer with the help of this gift card!

Item #3. has been REMOVED from this giveaway, as apparently the company who contributed it was uncomfortable having their products featured in the same post as a competitor's product. My sincerest apologies to anyone who expressed an interest in this item.

#4. Babeland Body Massage Candle courtesy of Babeland
Ready to elevate your next massage to a true sensual experience? Just light one of the deliciously scented candles, allow some wax to melt and cool slightly, and it becomes a warm, rich, shea butter-infused massage oil for the skin. Stylish packaging makes this a perfect gift, and serves as a storage case when the candle's not in use. Do not leave unattended while burning; do not drip on or near face. Glass votive.

#5. Ten 30 Min. Cards to HotMovies.ca courtesy of Kara Sutra

HotMovies.ca offers a variety of adult movies to suit multiple tastes. These free-minute cards will give you 5 hours of total watch time, absolutely free! Merely enter the promo code & enjoy! ^_~*

Ways to Win

There are numerous ways to win, all listed below. Pick just one, or go crazy and do them all! It's your choice, & I'm certainly not going to fault you for wanting to improve your chances! Come back and leave a separate comment for each entry you've completed. Good luck!

Comment stating which prize you'd prefer. If you do not complete this step & your name is drawn, you will be given whatever prize is left after the other winners are drawn. {1 entry}
Subscribe to my blog via email. {3 entries}
Follow my blog via Google Friend Connect. {1 entry}
Link to my blog on your blog, or in your blogroll. {3 entries}
Grab my button, & display it somewhere visible on your blog. {5 entries}
Rate/comment on as many of my Eden Fantasys reviews as you'd like. {1 entry per review}
Follow me on Twitter & tweet about this giveaway up to 3x a day! Each tweet must be at least an hour apart. Be sure to include @Splendwhore, & a link to this contest. Provide a link to your tweet. Example: "Enter to #win some spiffy swag from @Splendwhore! Blogoversary & A Birthday Giveaway: http://bit.ly/dOFUAy #giveaway #contest" {1 entry per tweet}
Spread the word about this giveaway! Write a post on your blog, facebook, myspace, tumblr, etc (multiple entries accepted if you post on more than one). Include a link to this contest, and leave a comment with a link to your post. {5 entries per post}

Restrictions
Red Magma Small Glass Anal Plug - Winner must be located in the U.S. or Canada
Babeland Body Massage Candle - Winner must be located in the continental U.S.
Ten 30 Min. Cards to HotMovies.ca - Winner must cover shipping expenses.

Giveaway ends March 14th, 2011. Winner will be announced March 15th.
In the event that the prize is not claimed within 48 hours, a new winner will be drawn.

Birthday Wishes

2011-03-04T22:12:00.000-08:00

So my birthday is coming up pretty shortly. March 14th marks my 21st year on this Earth. Yesterday I was trying to hammer out a wish list for my birthday, seeing as a few family members were prodding me for ideas. I sent them a list including Vegan Cookbooks, PS3 games, a Panini Press, and nail polish. Below you'll find the wilder side of my birthday wish list. I just thought it'd be nice to share it with you all. And hey-- if you happen to want to spoil me, you can always do so anonymously by clicking here! ;D

For more gift ideas, my complete Eden Fantasys Toy Wish List can be found here: Toys Rule, Boys Drool.

Fuck You Very Much! (A New Facebook Account)

2011-03-03T19:46:00.000-08:00

I need to vent for a moment. A few things have overwhelmed, and yes, even angered me about my decision to return to the sex toy community. First of all, let's discuss the overwhelming part: the emails. Didn't I mention? I had 900+ emails and 200 some spam messages when I finally dared to log in to my reviewing account. Frightening, but nothing I couldn't handle. Anyways, after digging myself out of the sea of 'PENIS ENLARGEMENT' offers, blog updates, retailer advertisements, and facebook friend requests, I felt a bit relieved. A weight had been lifted and it seemed like jumping back in wouldn't be as difficult as I'd originally thought. I spent about 20 minutes accepting all of the friend requests I had received in my absence, posted a few brief "hello's" on facebook and twitter, and started sorting through my old reviews and half-written blog posts.

Fast forward to the very next day. I attempt to log in to my facebook account and am denied. Do mine eyes deceive me? "Your facebook account has been disabled." WTF? I've been on here how many months, and now, out of the blue, my profile is suddenly disabled without so much as a warning or an explanation?! Now, I'm a reasonable person, so I contacted facebook to inquire as to what the hell was going on here. I received a brush-off email basically stating that my account was disabled because they had reason to believe I was not "authentically representing myself", and that it would not, under any circumstances, be restored. Hey-- I object! I am authentically representing myself, I'm just doing so under a pseudonym. This is my real personality, 100% me; I just don't want my activities and discussions under the microscope of my family. Do you honestly think I want to blast my real name all over facebook when my friends are all sex toy retailers or reviewers, and I'm talking about vibrators and dildos on a daily basis? Uhm, no. My grandmother would probably have a fucking heart attack. I, for one, do not want to be held accountable for her death, or the awkward conversations that would likely follow.

Well, I tell you, there's no way I'm going down that easily! THIS. IS. WAR!! For now, you can find me under the new pseudonym 'Splendora Moore'. It was the best I could do to stay somewhat true to my online persona, while still appearing to have a semi-legit "real name". I only hope that I can regain half of the friends and contacts I had on there before, and that I'll continue to slip just under their radar. Until our next confrontation Facebook; Fuck You very much for all you've undone for me!

Review: ChrisCross

2011-03-03T03:05:00.000-08:00

Boasting strong, silent vibes, high-quality silicone material, amazing texture, a large girth, and an attractive green color, the ChrisCross is a truly unique piece from JoyDivision! Warning: May require personal lubrication team.

Read the full review on Eden Fantasys by clicking here.

ChrisCross G-spot vibrator by JoyDivision Material: Silicone Safety: $0.00 Buy from EdenFantasys
Rating:	Vroom:	Bee:

This product was provided to Tales from the ToiBox for free by Eden Fantasys in exchange for an unbiased review.

Even God has Salesmen

2011-03-02T17:32:00.000-08:00

Fair Warning: This post will contain my opinion, and yes, that may offend you.

It was a regular afternoon, like any other. The boyfriend and I were lounging about the house, as he had the day off. Just taking some time to relax and not bothering with the complicated things in life like bras and bothering to eat. Until, however, our R&R was disturbed by Christianity rearing its persistent little head.

A knock at the door produced two women who had apparently come to sell us their religion. "Hi, I'd like to talk to you about God," the first woman said to my boyfriend, dread written all across his face. I slowly shifted the giant green vibrator off of my desk and out of sight, feeling a bit like a frightened child. There was no time to hide all of the pagan-themed books, which I had no doubt her highly trained sin-senses would detect. Thankfully the bf stopped her before she could catch him in her thrall and convince him to invite her inside. "Okay, I'm going to stop you right there," he said with a smile, "No offense, I think it's cool what you're doing and I hope you have luck at other doors, but.. " She seemed to understand and left, surprisingly, without pushing the subject. No foul words were exchanged, there was no animosity between us, and thankfully, no blood had been shed. I breathed a sigh of relief as they departed, content that the confrontation had been avoided.

What bothers me about this situation is the fact that even in my own home, I have to live in fear. When you open your door to an unknown face, there's a rather short list of who they are and what they want; bible thumper is pretty high up on that list. Mostly in our neighborhood it's either someone trying to sell you churros and carpet cleaner, or someone trying to sell their savior. It really pisses me off sometimes, especially knowing what I know about how Christianity gained prominence. I look at these people trying to talk to me about sin and evil and wonder how they'd react if they knew that most of their ancestors were converted to Christianity through means of brutal torture, rape, slaughter, and the destruction of entire villages.. Christianity has a bloody history, and no one seems to care. Sure, they're not killing regularly anymore; but coming to my house on my day off, at the ungodly hour of 4pm no less, to force me into a conversation I clearly don't want to have is still a very real form of torture. If I wanted to talk to you about God, I'd be at church.

And hey-! I don't go door to door cursing you for all your life choices. I don't preach of ignorance and hate and blind stupidity. I don't shove my beliefs in your face and tell you that everything you believe or practice is wrong. There are multiple paths to follow in life, not just one, and I'm tired of the condescending looks and snide remarks if I don't happen to be skipping down the Jesus trail with you. I've literally been harassed by a couple of 'Holy Rollers' while just taking a stroll down the street. They were stalking us, looking rather ridiculous doing so too, riding bicycles while wearing their trademark suits. Sam & I literally had to run through traffic to shake them loose. Why the hell is this considered acceptable? If I chased after a random stranger on a bicycle shouting about religion, I'm sure I'd be picked up as a loony. Or at the very least arrested for harassment and disturbing the peace. But the church gets away with it, and I'm really fucking sick of it. I feel like slapping a big picture of the bible with a red 'NO' circle over it on my door; maybe then they'll take a fucking hint.

[/end rant]

March Giveaways & Contests!

2011-03-02T17:26:00.000-08:00

It's that time again; time to list all of the nifty swag up for grabs! Hurry & get your entries in!

Blogoversary Giveaway! Ends 3/5.
Giveaway: Xtreme Pack G-Spot Bullet. Ends 3/5.
Win a $25 Gift Card to Eden Fantasys! Ends 3/6.
Little Secret Contest. Ends 3/6.
Frisky Bzzz Buddies Waterproof Vibrator Giveaway. Ends 3/7.
Variety is the Spice of Life at Eden Fantasys. Ends 3/12.
Giveaway - Eden Fantasys $30 Gift Code.Ends 3/12.
Green Sex Toys for Everyone! Ends 3/14.
Blogoversary & A Birthday Giveaway! Ends 3/14.
EdenFantasys $50 Gift Certificate. Ends 3/15.
Enter to Win an Irish Green Fun Factory Yooo! Ends 3/17.
Eden Fantasys Giveaway $50 Gift Card. Ends 3/17.
Eden Fantasys $30 Giftcard Giveaway. Ends 3/21.
EdenFantasys Gift Card Giveaway! Ends 4/1.
Eden Fantasys $55 Gift Certificate Giveaway! Ends 4/3.
EdenFantasys.com Review and Giveaway! Ends 4/6.
$50 EdenFantasys Gift Certificate Giveaway! Ends 4/17.
EdenFantasys $55 Giveaway. Ends 4/26.

(This list is updated periodically throughout the month of March.)

MIA, Presumed Dead

2011-03-02T02:54:00.000-08:00

Hello again World, it is I, Splendwhore, the mysterious disappearing woman! As some of you may have noticed, I vanished a few months back, never to be seen or heard from again.. er, until now, I mean. Previously missing in action, long presumed dead; the rumors of my death, as you can see, were greatly over exaggerated. Where have I been, you ask? Unfortunately dear readers I cannot divulge that information or I'd sadly have to kill you. It's classified, on a need-to-know basis. You do not need to know, though I'm sure one or two of you want to. I don't particularly feel like going into the details of my time away at this moment however. Just know that I'm back and I've missed you all, and that I can't wait to pick up where I left off. I hope you'll forgive my absence and welcome me back into your selection of regular reading material with open arms.

What I will tell you is that Sam had his top surgery done, and it was a success. There were no complications with the surgery, and the results look wonderful! The scars really aren't as bad as they could've been. Overall, he seems immensely happier now that the procedure has been done. I will also say that we've both just recently opened two new online businesses, which has been sapping up a large deal of time, but is vastly rewarding. Oh-! It's also my birthday this month! March 14th I will be turning 21!! Feel free to forgive my absence in light of the fact that my b-day is coming up. ^_^

Well, I suppose that's it for now. Just thought I'd drop in and say "Hey". Which seems a little strange now that I think about it given that this is *my* blog. Why am I dropping in? More like re-claiming the space; gathering up my musings and thoughts and unpacking them all where they rightfully belong. Oy vey! I haven't even been back for more than a single post and I'm already rambling again! Well, you did know this was me after all. Not really avoidable. You'll get used to it... again. Until next time dear readers!

All My Love,
Splendwhore

Review: Vida Vanta

2010-09-01T17:44:00.000-07:00

Have you heard of Vida? Who am I kidding, everyone's heard of Vida! Vida is the new line of luxury vibrators from TopCo Sales; a gorgeous array of classy, sophisticated pleasure objects for the sensual, sexual woman in all of us. The word Vida literally means 'life'. To quote the Vida Internationale bio page, "Sex is Life. Life is Vida. Vida is the Essence of Pleasure.", "We hope you fall in lust with life; with Vida". The 4 products which currently comprise the Vida line are Zara, Lussuria, Urja, & Vanta. Vanta is the external stimulator of the group. It also happens to be the product which I was so very lucky to receive from TopCo Sales for review!!

Let me start by saying, I'm a clit-stim snob. Don't get me wrong, I love my traditional vibrators and dildos as much as the next girl, but when it comes to clit vibes, I'm a pro. Clitoral stimulation is my niche. The frequency of the vibes, the shape of the product, the depth of the sensation... all of these factors either make or break an external vibrator in my eyes. I'm a tough critic, and I expect nothing less than the best the industry has to offer. As such, I've become incredibly spoiled. I want it all! Quality materials, flawless craftsmanship, attractive design, rechargeable, powerful, waterproof vibes. Remarkably, Vanta delivers all of this and more. Well, almost..

The Vanta consists mainly of black, matte Silicone and Anodized Aluminum. There is also a small band of pink plastic wrapping around the handle, below its on/off button. It is non-porous, and phthalates free. No weird smells or funny tastes (not that you'll be licking it regularly). There is a seam that runs along the front and back portion of the silicone, but it's unnoticeable in use. Other than that, the silicone bit, which is what comes in contact with your body, is completely smooth. It's also very firm, which leads me to believe that it's actually a layer of silicone over plastic.

At 5" long, and 1 1/8" wide on its curved end, the Vanta is rather small. The handle end is slightly larger, and more bulbous than the tip of the toy, and fits very comfortably in the palm of your hand. The slightly scooped tip looks pretty similar to a baby spoon, and it is this shape which allows it to nestle perfectly against your clitoris. The curvature of the toy feels natural and right against your body. Because of its size, this toy is easy to hide, and convenient to store. It would also be a great choice to use during intercourse, as it fits quite easily between two bodies. The only thing I disliked about the design/craftsmanship of the toy itself is that there is visible glue, and even a few gaps, in the seams where aluminum meets silicone. Besides spoiling the appearance of an otherwise flawless toy, it also makes me worry how truly "waterproof" the Vanta is. I've taken it in the shower multiple times without issue, but am a bit timid to submerge it. It is, however, at the very least splash proof, which makes it relatively easy to clean. For day to day care, washing it with antibacterial soap and warm water should do the trick. The silicone can also be sterilized by wiping it down with a 10% bleach solution. I'm not sure if bleach is safe to use on aluminum, however, so best just avoid the handle of the toy while sterilizing. Use in conjunction with water-based lubricant to aid in your playtime activities.

The Vanta is intended as an external vibrator, and can be used on your nipples, clitoris, labia, inner thighs, and any other erogenous zones you may have. It can also be used for shallow penetration, or even g-spotting, if your g-spot is shallow enough (mine totally is). It's great for partner play, solo play, and for use during intercourse. To activate the Vanta, merely press its button once, and then again to increase the intensity. The Vanta is rechargeable (hallelujah) and has 5 different levels of vibration. These vibrations are located in the tip of the toy. The lowest setting is insanely powerful, and the power doesn't stop there. Honestly, I can only handle the first 2 settings. Sometimes I can use the 3rd, if my body is cooperating. Unfortunately, for all its power, the Vanta just wasn't the miracle toy I had come to expect. The shape is perfect and the vibrations are strong, but they're the wrong kind of vibrations for my body. They're super buzzy, and very surface level as far as stimulation goes. Which is fine, if you happen to like toys like the Hitachi or the Fairy Wands. Sadly, these just aren't the right kind of vibrations to make me orgasm. They're too high of a frequency, and therefore whenever I use the Vanta, I must resort to jacking off with it as if it were an extension of my finger. It's tedious and frustrating, especially considering all the power this baby packs. It's one bad mama jama, I just can't ever enjoy it.That's not to say that it isn't a great vibrator, because it is, or that you won't enjoy it, because you might! It just doesn't work for me.

The Vanta, like every product in the Vida line, comes in elaborate, beautiful packaging. A faux leather tote with the Vida name inscribed on the front unzips around the top to reveal your Vanta encased in soft, plush memory foam. Underneath this foam insert you'll find a product manual, charger, and a microfiber storage pouch, tied shut with a pretty black ribbon. Definitely what I'd call extravagant storage! Mostly, I just keep my Vanta in the pouch provided. The charger & instruction booklet remain in the tote, though I've been having devious thoughts of stripping its innards bare & using it to store a few bullets, small dildos, etc. It would make a great little travel case for makeup or sex toys alike!

To summarize, the Vanta is a really great vibrator. It's what I'd consider "the package deal". If buzzy vibes are your thing, then you're most likely going to be in love with this vibe! But if, like me, they just don't cut it for you.. you might find yourself disappointed.

Review: Girls On Top

2010-08-31T17:12:00.000-07:00

Girls On Top is a titillating collection of unique, inventive stories. At 215 pages long, with 19 stories in total, each one is on average 11 pages long, and filled with yummy, delicious plot. These stories have build, suspense, longing, and completion. Each one left me satisfied, elated, and begging for more. Highly recommended!!

Read the full review on Eden Fantasys by clicking here.

$14.95Girls On Top

Book by Violet Blue

Format: Paperback
Publisher: Cleis Press Inc.

Buy from EdenFantasys

This product was provided to Tales from the ToiBox for free by Eden Fantasys in exchange for an unbiased review.

Review: Tantus Suction Cup

2010-08-31T17:07:00.000-07:00

The Tantus Suction Cup is an excellent sex-cessory which will magically transform your boring old dildos into hands free pleasure pals! Virtually any toy with a bullet hole in the base is compatible with this awesome device. Wet surfaces, dry surfaces, anywhere you've got a smooth surface, the Tantus Suction Cup is your friend. Slap it down and go to town!

Read the full review on Eden Fantasys by clicking here.

$21.99Suction cup

Plug by Tantus

Material: Silicone

Safety:

Buy from EdenFantasys

This product was provided to Tales from the ToiBox for free by Eden Fantasys in exchange for an unbiased review.

We-Vibe II WINNER!!!

2010-08-18T16:19:00.000-07:00

"The time has come", the Splendwhore said, "to talk of many things: Of giveaways and We-Vibe II's, and.. yeah, I'm not good at rhyming." Anyways, you know why I've summoned you all here. Yesterday was officially the end of my recent giveaway, and that means today I get to announce the winner!!! So, without further ado, the very lucky recipient of a brand new We-Vibe II is.... Frisky Housewife!!! Congratulations on the win! You have 48 hours to claim this prize, at which point if you do not, another winner will be selected.

Thank you to everyone who participated in this giveaway! I had such a blast hosting it. If you didn't win, but are still interested in purchasing your own We Vibe II, you may do so here. Be sure to stay on the lookout for more awesome giveaways from Tales from the ToiBox!

Thank you so very much to Good Vibes for sponsoring this giveaway!

Get a 25% Off Coupon & a FREE Tote Bag! What?!

2010-08-15T02:01:00.000-07:00

Our very generous friends over at Eden Fantasys are holding a super special promotion right now! This week only, if you register an account on Eden Fantasys and message Gary telling him Splendwhore referred you, you will receive an awesome EF Tote bag, AND be eligible to request a free 25% off coupon. Isn't that one sweet deal? All you have to do is sign up to receive both a wicked discount, and a nifty bag to store all the new toys you'll likely buy. I may or may not be receiving a very sexy tote bag myself for referring you.. but that fact is irrelevant. >_> After you've registered and staked your claim on your tote, be sure to check out this discussion on how to request the coupon. Enjoy your freebies, and Happy Shopping!

Review: John Doe

2010-08-15T00:57:00.000-07:00

The John Doe is a semi-realistic dildo with plenty of tricks to keep you interested. A filling girth, bulbous head, and angled, lightly textured shaft all make this a wonderful toy. Insert a bullet in the bottom to transform it into a vibrator! Couple it with the Tantus Suction Cup for some hands-free fun! Use it with a partner, in a harness, or go solo. Whenever the mood strikes, whatever you're craving, the John Doe is the perfect stranger for the job.

Read the full review on Eden Fantasys by clicking here.

John Doe Dildo by Tantus Material: Silicone Safety: $50.39 Buy from EdenFantasys
Rating:	Vroom:	Bee:

This product was provided to Tales from the ToiBox for free by Eden Fantasys in exchange for an unbiased review.

Review: Mini Mini Monkey

2010-08-15T00:50:00.000-07:00

The Mini Mini Monkey is a small, remote controlled bullet that is unbearably cute. It's quiet, has an interesting design, and would make a suitable toy for beginners. However, the vibrations are disappointingly weak, and the toy itself is rather poorly constructed. I wouldn't say it's extraordinary, but it's not horrible either. An average toy, that is simply adorable in appearance.

Read the full review on Eden Fantasys by clicking here.

Mini mini monkey Clitoral vibrator by Doc Johnson Material: PVC Safety: $0.00 Buy from EdenFantasys
Rating:	Vroom:	Bee:

This product was provided to Tales from the ToiBox for free by Eden Fantasys in exchange for an unbiased review.

August Giveaways & Contests!

2010-08-14T21:56:00.000-07:00

Have you noticed how awful I am at keeping up with this? Two weeks into August I realize, "Hmm.. maybe I should do that post soon on all the giveaways taking place this month". Yeah, the realization was a bit belated, to say the least. But I have a lot going on in my life right now. It's a very hectic and exciting time (you'll hear more about this soon). Anyways, enough about me and how I tend to put things off. Let's hear about the awesome swag up for grabs!!

Fancy Me Giveaway. Ends 8/15.
Fancy Me Sampler Kit Giveaway. Ends 8/15.
Bad Idea t-Shirt Review/Giveaway. Ends 8/15.
What's Alumina? Only Amazing, That's What. Ends 8/15.
It's my blog, I'll give away Free Shit if I want to! Ends 8/17.
G-Ki: The G-spot does exist. Ends 8/24.
An Eden Fantasys Reviewiversary Giveaway! Ends 8/27.
Form 2. Ends 8/29.
100 Posts is a Reason to Celebrate! 8/31.
Michele's A-Day Lelo Siri Giveaway. 9/6.
$25 Anyone? Ends at 50 followers.

(This list is updated periodically throughout the month of August.)

Review: Royal Intruder

2010-08-11T14:06:00.000-07:00

The Royal Intruder is a breathtaking glass plug, carefully crafted with the beginner in mind. Smooth, hard surfaces, a gently tapering tip, and a non-intimidating size all make this lovely piece a winner. It's also great for temperature play, or as a warm up tool. Unfortunately, the lack of a long enough neck makes this plug somewhat hard to retain.

Read the full review on Eden Fantasys by clicking here.

$24.99Royal intruder

Butt plug by SSA Glass

Material: Pyrex Glass

Safety:

Buy from EdenFantasys

This product was provided to Tales from the ToiBox for free by Eden Fantasys in exchange for an unbiased review.

Review: Waterproof Blueberry Turbo Glider

2010-08-09T09:53:00.000-07:00

Hello class! Today I will be reviewing the Waterproof Blueberry Turbo Glider, courtesy of Vibrator.com. The Waterproof Blueberry Turbo Glider is, as its name implies, a smooth waterproof vibrator. It is suitable for internal or external stimulation, though personally, my preference is external. It can be used to stimulate the nipples, clitoris, perineum, or any other erogenous zones you or your partner might have. I would not, however, suggest that you use this toy anally, as it lacks a flared base. Better safe than sorely sorry, right? Right.

The Turbo Glider is made of non-porous, hypo-allergenic, phthalates & latex free plastic, which has no taste or smell. It is a hard, completely smooth material, devoid of texture (aside from the toy's wavy shape). The glossy surface allows this toy to, as its name suggests, glide with ease across your body. It is 7 1/4" long, 6 1/4" insertable, & 1 1/4" at its widest point. It's a great size for beginners, but more seasoned users can still enjoy this toy as well. The Turbo Glider has 3 bulges at the end of its shaft that add an interesting sensation when used internally, as well as externally. The most unique thing about this toy though, is the fact that it is completely see-through. The beautiful teal colored plastic is transparent, allowing you to witness its inner workings in action. The unintimidating appearance and material would make this a great toy for a beginner. To clean your Turbo Glider, simply wash with antibacterial soap and warm water, or you may also use your favorite toy cleaner. Wipe it down with isopropyl alcohol to disinfect. It is compatible for use with water, oil, and silicone based lubricants.

The Blueberry eats 2 AA batteries at a time, which are inserted in the base of the toy. An o-ring inside the cap makes this toy waterproof, and therefore safe for all your underwater activities. A dial on the cap controls the power level. I often accidentally turn the toy on while screwing the cap into place for this reason. The dial also makes this toy easy to use; changing intensities is as simple as twisting the nob on the cap. The Turbo Glider features only solid vibrations, ranging from a very soft rumble, all the way up to an intense, thuddy buzz. I really can't describe how awesome the sensations it delivers are. To be honest, buzzy vibes aren't my thing, but this one works. It's like, a deeper buzz. I still don't think I'm explaining it well. I was actually surprised with the power level, considering it's such an affordable toy. $16 is a small price to pay for so many orgasms. The vibrations are located near the top of the shaft, where the motor is visible. They can be felt along the entire length of the toy, but are strongest here, as well as at the tip. As I mentioned before, this toy is suitable for either internal or external stimulation, but using it externally is where it really shines. The bloops on the upper half of the shaft are just perfect for nestling against your clit. They seem to contour perfectly to fit around your body, and help achieve either pinpoint stimulation, or what I refer to as surround-stimulation, which is where you have a solid vibrating surface surrounding the pleasure princess that is the clitoris. I know most people don't get too excited over toys without all the special patterns and modes, but this, my friends, is an excellent addition to any toy box. The combination of steady, powerful vibrations and the sleek, intuitive design make the Turbo Glider a winner. Tack on the fact that it is, in fact, 100% *waterproof*, & you've got all the makings of a go-to toy. A real 'got your back whenever those other fancy vibrators fail', kinda toy. It's also an excellent choice as a first vibe, for beginners, those who have children/roommates/still live at home, or even the seasoned, independent user such as myself. A simple, powerful beauty, in an unexpected packaging.

This product was provided to Tales from the ToiBox for free by Vibrator.com in exchange for an unbiased review.

Review: Lelo Bob

2010-08-05T02:38:00.000-07:00

I'm not an avid butt-plug user. Anyone who reads my blog, or is even remotely acquainted with me, should know this. I've never gone.. *there*. I never thought I'd really enjoy anal play, to be honest. But I admit to suffering from an untameable curiosity. So naturally, when I saw Babeland had the Lelo Bob available for review, I snatched it up, lickety split!

The Lelo Bob is a "gentleman's plug". It is designed prominently for p-spot stimulation, but the ladies will also enjoy Bob's subtle charm. Made from 100% silicone, Bob is completely non-porous, hypo-allergenic, and both phthalates & latex free. It has no initial smell, and honestly, I had no desire to taste it. This deep blue beauty is 5" long, 3 1/2" insertable, and roughly 1 1/4" at its widest point. A softly curved bulge at the tip tapers down into a slender stem, which widens again into a loop (the alleged base of this toy). The so-called base is 1 1/4" wide, which is the same width as the largest portion of the plug. The base is the one and only thing I dislike about this toy. I wouldn't say I dislike it even, it just worries me to an extent. I fear it could disappear up into my ass as easily as the shaft of the plug did. Still, the design is very attractive, and will likely appeal to a large variety of people. The silicone is firm, and unyielding. It's only flexible in the stem, I assume to aide in comfort while in use. It has a slight drag to it, but not enough to be painful, probably not enough to even be very noticeable. The size and shape are anything but intimidating, and I believe this would be an excellent plug for a beginner!

The Bob is as lovely in use as it is in looks. I wore it while blogging, while cleaning, while going to the grocery store, & a wide array of other public places. In all circumstances, Bob was a true blue. Never disappointed, never let me down. The small size was enough to remind me it was there, without being painful or distracting. It was extremely pleasant to wear, and most importantly, sit on. Seriously, there's nothing worse than having a stick (or a very uncomfortable plug) up your ass. But that base! Oh, that dastardly small, and somewhat frightening, base. Every time I sat, I'd be having a nervous breakdown, panicking that at any moment the base of the toy would slip right up into my ass. I resorted to contracting my muscles, keeping a gentle outward push at all times. Needless to say, the fretting over whether or not every twitch in my ass would lead to an ER visit somewhat detracted from what was otherwise an excellent first experience with anal play. I even had a little fun grasping the loop at the base, and slowly sliding the plug in and out. It was very stimulating that way, and put me at ease, as I felt more in control. It's also an excellent tool for warming yourself up for larger plugs, probes, etc. Overall, I had a very fun adventure with this toy. It has definitely prompted more anal explorations to come in the not too distant future.

The Lelo Bob came packaged elaborately, as all Lelo items seem to. A shiny plastic outer box featuring product specs in 5 different languages encases a sturdier, inner black box made of what I assume is heavy cardboard. The plug rests inside in a hard plastic mold, shielded by a thin plastic cover. Underneath said plastic mold is a user's manual, a 1 year warranty, a 10 year guarantee, and a small white drawstring bag to store your Bob while not in use. The simple black box the plug comes in would also make a great means of storage.

For day to day cleaning, soap and warm water are your friends. Silicone repels dirt and bacteria, and can be fully disinfected by boiling for 3 minutes, wiping down with a 10% bleach solution, or tossing it in the top rack of your dishwasher. Personally, I abstain from that last means of disinfecting, as I'm seriously concerned about how sanitary it would honestly be to put something that has been up your ass in the same place what you eat off of ends up. It's probably fine, but squeamishness prevents me from doing any such thing. Bob is compatible with water-based lubes only! Don't use silicone-based unless you're feeling cocky.

This product was provided to Tales from the ToiBox for free by Babeland in exchange for an unbiased review.

It's my blog, I'll give away Free Shit if I want to!

2010-08-02T23:00:00.000-07:00

In case you missed the title, this is a giveaway. And yeah, I know I'm supposed to have a reason or something. Almost all giveaways have a purpose. Like, "Hey, it's my anniversary". Or "It's *insert some holiday here*". But honestly, I don't have a specific reason for hosting this giveaway. Other than, of course, that I want to. Also, this is my blog. Why are you questioning my somewhat suspicious motives? Don't you know you're supposed to blindly take free toys from strangers? Get with the program guys! Jeez! Anyways, back to the topic at hand. Good Vibes had a We-Vibe II on their PR page. It was just sitting up there, looking all pretty, and I didn't touch it. I left it alone, because I already own a We-Vibe II, and I certainly didn't need another one. I let it sit there for a few days, watching it, and noticed no one had requested it. So, I decided, "Hey, why not spread the love?" Hence here I am. I, personally, adore my We Vibe. However, I'm aware that it's one of those items people either seem to love or hate. I know that many of us have been intrigued, but afraid to take the leap, because of some very mixed reviews. Thankfully, I'm here to help you out. One lucky entrant will receive a very spiffy We-Vibe II, courtesy of Good Vibes, just 'cause. So? What are you waiting for? Scat! Go on, get your entries in!

Ways to Win

Subscribe to my blog via email. {3 entries}
Link to my blog on your blog, or in your blogroll. {3 entries}
Grab my button, & display it somewhere visible on your blog. {5 entries}
Follow me on Twitter and tweet about this giveaway 3x a day! Each tweet must be at least an hour apart. Be sure to include @Splendwhore, and a link to this contest. Provide a link to your tweet. Example: "Want to #win a We-Vibe II? @Splendwhore & @GoodVibesSF are giving one away! http://bit.ly/cm6Rv9 #giveaway #contest" {1 entry per tweet}
Spread the word about this giveaway! Write a post on your blog, facebook, myspace, tumblr, etc (multiple entries accepted if you post on more than one). Include a link to this contest, and leave a comment with a link to your post. {5 entries per post}

Giveaway ends August 17th, 2010. Winner will be announced August 18th.
In the event that the prize is not claimed within 48 hours, a new winner will be drawn.

Thank you so very much to Good Vibes for sponsoring this giveaway!

Review: GoGirl

2010-07-30T22:58:00.000-07:00

The GoGirl is what is known as a female urination device, also commonly called a stand to pee device. Now, as many of you know, my partner is FTM Transgendered, meaning he was physically born female and is transitioning to physically become male. One of the dilemmas that many Transmen face is peeing effectively in public male restrooms. Some men's bathrooms have stalls, but most usually just feature the average urinals. So, the question is, how does a Transman successfully pee standing up, while lacking the advantage that biomen are born with? There are a few answers to this question, including different varieties of prosthetic STP (stand to pee) devices, or simpler devices that are essentially tubing. The GoGirl is unique in that it is the first product I have seen that actually functions like a concentrated funnel. I was skeptical if it would work, to be honest, but I desperately wanted to know. And so, with a little uncertainty and a lot of hope, I humbly requested to test out some of their products. I was so excited when I received my GoGirls in the mail! I spent the next several days drinking an impressive amount of water and running to the bathroom to test out my GoGirl every chance I got! I actually received 3 GoGirls. Two lavender, and one khaki colored. The khaki was for my partner to experiment with, the lavender were for me. Yes, I was curious myself. I hate public restrooms. They're always so grody, and I honestly never feel very safe even hovering above those toilet seats. I was praying that I'd found an easier solution. In some ways, I did, and in some ways, I did not. The GoGirl is awesome at what it does, but it also has its own set of drawbacks that I will discuss a little bit later in this review. Alright, on to the product itself.

The GoGirl is made of a thin layer of super flexible medical grade silicone. The material is surprisingly durable, as well as earth friendly, considering a single GoGirl can be reused again and again. The suppleness of the GoGirl is what makes it so convenient to travel with. In actual size, the GoGirl is about 6 1/2" long, and 4" at its widest point. However, with a little practice it can quickly be folded into a 3" by 2" form, and stashed either just in your pocket or purse, or in the small plastic tube it is originally packaged in. The easiest way I've found to refold my GoGirl for travel is this: flatten the front end of the GoGirl's opening against the back end, so that the small tube end lifts and becomes slightly erect. Proceed to fold the tube end up and flatten against the previously folded opening. Press your finger in the center of the form, and fold it in half. Then roll it up in the provided bag, snap a rubber band around it, or squeeze it back in its original packaging. Just for reference, the plastic tube it comes in is 3 1/2" long, by 1 1/2" in diameter. Lets talk a bit more about the design of the product itself though. The GoGirl somewhat resembles a 'y' in shape, with a large, curved opening at the top that tapers down into a small narrow funnel. The end of the funnel has a rectangular slit out of which the liquid will flow. The specific shape of the opening helps to contain splatter and concentrate your stream. The last thing you need is piss all over the toilet seat, after all. Really, its a great design, and you'd think it would ensure that the GoGirl would work flawlessly. But yet, I still experienced issues with it.

I don't want to use the word temperamental to describe this product. That doesn't exactly explain it properly. It's more like.. the GoGirl has a specific way it should be used. That specific way may be different for you than it is for me, and you really just have to experiment with it until you find what works (I suggest doing so in the shower until you're confident in your pissing abilities). The thing is, if you vary from this specific method of use, you may very well end up with some drops of piss in your panties, or worse. The best advice I can give you is practice, practice, practice! First of all, the GoGirl must be held a certain way. You need to grasp it with your wrist tilted forward and down, so that your fingers support the back of the device, and your thumb rests on the front. Pull down your pants (thigh level is good, but knee level is better), and try to cup the GoGirl tightly against your labia so that it forms a seal. Don't press it too hard against your body, and try not to squash it in your hand, however, as that will compromise the shape of the funnel and make it more likely that you'll have an accident. You want to hold it gently, yet firmly, in place. You can bend your knees a little if you feel more comfortable doing so, or stand up ramrod straight like most men. It's all about preference at this point. Do your best to relax, to overcome the fear that you're going to pee your pants, and then just go. This is the point where you might encounter an issue. These are the problems I've experienced with the GoGirl: 1) If you haven't formed a good enough seal, you might have some drippage out the back of the device. It is imperative that you do your best to position it along the length of your outer lips so that the device stops even as far back as your vaginal opening. 2) If you have a particularly heavy piss stream, or have to pee really really bad, the device may end up overflowing. It is, after all, a funnel. Liquid slowly drains out of it, and therefore if it's filling up faster than it's going out, you're going to have an issue. My partner experienced this the most, and was unable to remedy it. Unfortunately for this reason, the device was not a good fit for him. I've noticed this dilemma as well on occasion, but I can slow down or even stop my pee stream if necessary, so it hasn't really been a problem for me. 3) After you've finished peeing, you have to do this awkward move where you continue to hold the GoGirl in place while you reach for some TP or something else to wipe off with. Believe me, it's a good idea to do this before removing the device as you will be a bit.. wet. Some drops of urine also tend to accumulate on the flat lip where the device meets your body, so if you're not careful, you might go flinging pee around. When you're finished, either wipe the inside of the GoGirl down with a bit of TP, rinse it under the sink, or (if you're really roughing it, say camping) just shake it off the best you can and fold it back up. Soap and warm water will do to clean it when that's available to you. As its silicone, it can also be boiled to disinfect it.

Despite a few small difficulties during use, the GoGirl is still a great item for all those interested in being able to stand to pee. Excellent for Transmen, germaphobes, campers, bikers, runners, road trips, and more. It's a really versatile product that can be used in a multitude of circumstances! It's also effective at what it does. Okay, sure, this probably won't be your chosen method of urination in the comfort of your own home. But when you're outdoors, or out on the town, the GoGirl is a very handy gizmo to have on hand. A big thanks to the folks at Go-Girl for letting me take their product for a test drive!

This product was provided to Tales from the ToiBox for free by Go-Girl in exchange for an unbiased review.

Review: SinFive Vuali Silicone

2010-07-22T16:19:00.000-07:00

The SinFive Vuali Silicone is an antimicrobial vibrator made by Wolwin GmbH. It is intended as an internal vibrator, but may also be used externally on the clit, nipples, and any other erogenous zones you may have. Though it can be fully disinfected, I would not suggest using it anally because of its lack of a flare base. It's a simple, easy to use vibe that would be perfect for beginners, but not go unappreciated by more experienced users as well.

The Vuali Silicone is a newer version of the original Vuali. SinFive took an awesome vibrator, and made it even better by crafting it from gorgeous silicone! The new Vuali is non-porous, hypo-allergenic, phthalates free, latex free, AND features an antimicrobial surface which fights bacteria, helping keep you and your body safe. The silicone is very soft and squishy, with a heavy drag to it. The drag definitely provides added stimulation in use, but what you'll notice the most is the ribbing. The entire upper part of the toys shaft features these vertical, raised ridges which are nothing if not lovely. The Vuali is 8" in total length, 6 1/2" insertable, and 1 1/2" in diameter. It looks much like a miniature rocket, the straight shaft bulging out as it nears the head of the toy, and then tapering back into a smooth, rounded tip. I'd consider it fairly average in size, somewhere between large and small. The size would most likely be adequate for intermediate to advanced users, but may not be suitable for beginners. I'm personally comfortable with toys that are 1 1/2" in diameter, but this toy felt even a bit larger to me, probably due to the ribbing. Just something you might want to keep in mind if you make the decision to purchase the Vuali.

This particular toy runs on two AA batteries (included), which can be inserted in the base of the toy via a twist cap. You shouldn't experience any difficulties fiddling around with batteries with this toy, as they slide in quite easily, and the cap is marked to identify which direction they should be inserted. On the bottom is your standard plus and minus symbols to indicate how to insert the batteries, and above that, there's even a little depiction of what the ends of the batteries should look like when properly inserted. Really, this thing is idiot proof. Trust me, I can be an idiot when it comes to batteries and toys, and I didn't have a single problem. The Vuali is controlled by a (+) and (-) button on the shaft of the toy, nearest its base. The (+) button turns the Vuali on, increases the intensity of its steady vibrations, and lets you cycle through the patterns. The (-) button decreases the intensity of its steady vibrations, and lets you cycle back through the patterns. The (-) button will also turn the toy off when held for 3 seconds. Imagine how handy that will be for all those living with children or roommates! Thankfully, I no longer fall into either of those categories, but I still appreciate the feature. Alright, back to the functions of the toy. The Vuali has 6 different levels of steady vibration, and 3 different patterns. The patterns are as follows: pulsating, rapid pulsating, and randomized. The vibrations are deep and rumbley, and oh so perfect. Honestly, it's nice to see a change from the usual buzzy, high pitched vibrations of most toys. The vibrations can be felt all along the shaft, but are most intense in the ribbed bulge. As far as noise is concerned, the Vuali is surprisingly quiet. It cannot be heard very well underneath covers, so you might be able to get away with using this next to a sleeping partner, and it would definitely be safe to use behind a closed door without worry. It boasts of being waterproof, but I have yet to confirm this fact. It is, however, at the very least splash proof.

In regards to cleaning, antibacterial soap and warm water should do the trick. You could also use your favorite toy cleaner, wipes, etc. The Vuali should not be boiled or cleaned in the dishwasher, as it is a vibrator and therefore has inner mechanisms which could be damaged by doing so. To properly disinfect, wipe down with a 10% bleach solution. Like most silicone, the Vuali is a lint magnet, so be sure to clean it before and after each use. Avoid using silicone lubricants with this vibrator, as it is made of silicone and silicone lube will degrade the material. Slick it up with some high-quality water based lube instead, and prepare for a night of fun!

I really enjoyed the Vuali. It's powerful, easy to use, lets you pick your own type of pleasure, and is made of the softest, squishiest silicone I've seen. Gorgeously designed, antimicrobial, quiet, with a prominent yet non-intimidating texture. I'd definitely recommend this, and the other SinFive vibrators, to anyone looking for a simple, strong, attractive addition to their toy chest.

This product was provided to Tales from the ToiBox for free by Eden Fantasys in exchange for an unbiased review.

SinFive Vuali silicone Traditional vibrator by Wolwin GmbH Material: Silicone / Plastic Safety: $69.95 Buy from EdenFantasys
Rating:	Vroom:	Bee:

Review: Orchid G + Smart Girl's Guide to the G-Spot Combo

2010-07-14T01:09:00.000-07:00

The G-spot. *Cue dramatic musical number* Nearly every woman who's heard of its existence has gone on a mecca in search of that mythical, magic part of their anatomy. And for some reason, most tend to miss it by a mile! It's been touted as a rumor, a myth, a psychological or spiritual phenomenon. Well, I'm here to tell you that it is none of those things. The G-spot exists. It is a physical, real part of your body that you don't need meditation or an experienced excavation team to locate. All you need, my friends, is a little guidance. That's exactly what you'll get from the Orchid G + Smart Girl's Guide to the G-Spot Combo!

First, lets talk a little bit about the book. The Smart Girl's Guide to the G-Spot is an informative and hilarious read, written by Violet Blue and published by Cleis Press. It's a slim, non-intimidating book of 129 pages. Right off the bat, the author dismisses the common belief that the g-spot is either non-existent, or unattainable. The book is very no-nonsense, and quick to outline all of the things the G-spot isn't, as well as all the silly propaganda surrounding it. Thankfully, the author manages to do this without the content becoming incredibly boring, though I'll admit, sometimes the explanations do require a re-reading or three. Surprisingly, despite the scientific explanation of the female body, the author is friendly, educated, and relatable. I really adored the book because the author speaks in a clear and concise manner, easily laying out all the information for your eager little brain to absorb. She clearly states exactly what the G-spot is, how it functions, what it likes, and even goes as far as to provide you a labeled diagram of the internal female anatomy. You not only have her wise words as guidance, you have a freakin' map at your disposal! How much easier could this get?! PC muscle exercises, g-spot massage instructions, ejaculation techniques, adding anal stimulation, adding oral stimulation, including S/M, and four different erotica stories focusing on g-spot play can all be found throughout this excellent, detailed book. It is an insightful and eye-opening read, which even those already acquainted with the G-spot would benefit from.

Is that a blender in your pants? Oh, no, that just the Orchid G. My mistake! It's a common misconception really, being that the Orchid G sounds about as loud as a blender. Definitely not on my list of discreet toys, but you really can't fault it for the amount of power it's packing. Yes, it is quite powerful, and that does somewhat make up for its obnoxiously loud motor. The Orchid G is a pleasantly strong toy that could be used for external or internal stimulation. It is best used internally, however, as it was intended. From the intensity of its vibrations, to the design of its body, this toy was crafted specifically for G-spotting. The Orchid G itself is constructed of a long, slim shaft, with a large oval bulb on the end. This bulb is angled strategically upwards, to further enhance your G-spot finding abilities. The aforementioned bulb is absolutely perfect for G-spot stimulation because of its girth and angle. At 8 1/2" long, and 1 1/2" at it's widest point, the Orchid G is a fairly standard sized toy. What makes it unique is the fact that the shaft of the toy is so thin. This allows for you to easily move the toy around inside of you, angling or pressing as hard as you desire.

The Orchid G is made of unyielding solid plastic. It is completely smooth, has no smell or taste, and is both phthalates and latex free. The hardness of this toy makes it excellent for G-spotting, given that the G-spot responds best to firm, strong stimulation. That same firmness which makes this toy awesome for G-spotting may make it uncomfortable for some during thrusting however, given that the hard toy may catch on your pubic bone. That aside, it's a safe material that serves the purpose of this toy well. To clean your Orchid G, merely wash with antibacterial soap and warm water. You could also use a toy cleaner, or toy wipes, if you so choose.

The Orchid G takes 2 AA batteries, which can be inserted by screwing off the cap on the end of the toy's shaft. Make sure it is twisted completely on before attempting to operate. The toy functions using a dial, which you twist to increase the intensity. Twist it a tiny bit to turn it on, and continue turning to find your desired level of vibration. The Orchid G's vibrations starts off at a low rumble, and climbs rapidly to an almost numbingly powerful buzz. I love the range of power it delivers, and believe it would be excellent for a wide array of users. The vibrations at their strongest feel just incredible when used internally! And hey, a rubber o-ring featured on the cap makes this toy waterproof, so you could take it for a dip in the tub for a little "me time". I certainly did, and let me tell you, it was quite an experience!

In all, the Orchid G + Smart Girls' Guide to the G-Spot Combo has been one of the most enlightening reviews I've done in a while. I learned so much about myself and my body in the process. The book was a blast to read, and one that I will often reference, and not soon let go of. The Orchid G was a great toy to assist with the explorations that this book begged me to take. I would highly recommend this set to anyone interested in discovering more about their own bodies. Whether you've had a G-spot orgasm before or not. Whether you've mastered female ejaculation, or have PC muscles of steel, you should still read this book, and use this toy in conjunction with it. That is my honest opinion.

This product was provided to Tales from the ToiBox for free by Babeland in exchange for an unbiased review.

Review: Lelo Sutra Chainlink Cuffs

2010-07-12T16:16:00.000-07:00

The Sutra Chainlink Cuffs are a gorgeous set of restraints from LELO's new accessory line. High quality materials & craftsmanship shine through in these delightfully delicate yet durable, elegant yet kinky, hand cuffs. Intended for light restraint, these beauties beg to be used. Patterned silk & soft suede will make you yearn for their sensual touch. A great addition to foreplay or sex, these restraints allow the wearer to be simultaneously restrained, with the illusion of freedom.

Read the full review on Eden Fantasys by clicking here.

$85.99Sutra chainlink cuffs

Wrist cuffs by LELO

Material: Metal / Silk / Suede

Safety:

Buy from EdenFantasys

This product was provided to Tales from the ToiBox for free by Eden Fantasys in exchange for an unbiased review.

In the Defense of Ms. VadgeWig

2010-07-09T04:31:00.000-07:00

Fair Warning: This post will contain my opinion, and yes, that may offend you.

I consider myself to be a reasonable person. I know when to speak up and when to keep my mouth shut. I stay out of the limelight, avoid confrontation when I can, and let the masses fight their own battles. However, this time I just couldn't stay back on the sidelines and watch the chaos that was quickly unfolding. Let me break it down for you: Britni, a fellow blogger, was just recently sexually harassed. I won't go into the details (though you can find them here, should you care to read her story). Basically, a guy advanced on her in ways she did not condone, and when she made to get away from him, and a bad situation in general, he crossed the line from inappropriate touching to near-rape. Now, if you're just reading this story like me, this should be a no-brainer. Britni good, rapist bad. Sadly, not everyone agrees with this theory. There have been those who felt the need to throw this sensitive subject back in Britni's face, claiming that she must have done something to provoke the action.

Okay, hold up-- that's an awfully big insinuation to throw around! She had it coming? That's your answer? I'm sorry, I just don't buy it. That's like saying my great grandfather deserved to die of colon cancer! Yeah, he must've had it coming.. eating all that fish. Bastard brought it on himself! Do I sound as ridiculous as those accusations I was mentioning? I really hope so. Y'see, I'm trying to make a point. The point being that victim-blaming is not the answer. We can't go around pointing fingers and placing blame just to make the actions of others seem acceptable. "No woman deserves to be treated like a whore, however if she happens to be wearing the uniform…. Ya know, I’m not a doctor. I don’t heal the sick, but if I went around dressed up like one and hanging around in a hospital I’d have to expect sick people to ask me to make them feel better." Okay, first of all, I have to combat this statement on the grounds that the author originally claims that no woman should be treated like a whore, and then goes on to suggest that if a woman is dressed provocatively, it then becomes acceptable or commonplace. No. Just-- no. Second of all, there's a difference between a patient asking someone they assume to be a doctor to assist them, versus colliding viciously into said person and forcing them to medicate them. He didn't ask, he assumed. He did what he wanted, permission be damned, probably because he's had society telling him his whole life that pretty girls in pretty clothes are just asking for it. Do you see the vicious cycle here?

I understand that we live in a dangerous world, and it's always a good idea to take precautions, but how far do we go? Do we barricade ourselves in our homes, hide away all our luscious, inviting flesh and refuse to speak to any men other than our spouse? Perhaps all us females should adopt the traditional Afghan garb as well, donning a burka to hide our feminine body, and a face veil to avoid strangers taking our beauty as an invitation to unsolicited sex. Yes, I'm sure all of our problems will be solved by further sending the message that we should be ashamed of our bodies. Let's go back to the days of being escorted around by big strong men. And hey, you clumsy ho! You almost bared your ankle in public while getting out of the car! Don't you know that's as trashy now as it was in the middle ages? All I'm saying is, your body is YOURS and yours alone. What you wear shouldn't make a damn difference. True, you might draw more attention, but that doesn't excuse someone invading upon your space. I've literally seen girls walk down the street in nothing more than a skimpy bathing suit. And yes, they made that choice to bare their skin. They gave permission for the world to look upon their bodies and appreciate them, but they did NOT give permission to be touched, groped, grabbed, rubbed against, or in any way manhandled.

I'd like to talk, for just a moment, about double standards. The aforementioned commenter who felt the need to so boldly attack Britni was first defending the equal rights of men and women. The comment concerned an unrelated post Britni had made previously concerning a television show and a man who was kissed on his neck by another man at a gay bar. The man who was kissed then proceeded to make homophobic remarks and be a general bitch. Okay, I maintain that this guy had the right to NOT be kissed on his neck against his will. I also maintain that he's still an asshole and a gay-basher. That's my opinion, as is his that he'd rather die than be touched by a gay man. It's just as bad for a man to be touched against his will as a woman. I'll concede to that fact. However, I do not agree that what we do or do not wear should be considered provocation for inappropriate, unwanted touching. If a woman wears something sexy and trendy to a club, apparently she's asking to get assaulted. Yet you don't see someone groping every well dressed man, or shoving a finger up his ass if he happens to be in a bar. Neither the clothes, nor the atmosphere, make any such action acceptable. A man can walk down the street shirtless and no one would accuse him of inviting sexual assault. We all have breasts, we all have nipples, but we're not all allowed to bare them. That, my friends, is not equal. I'm sorry, but you can't defend equal rights for men and women when they were never equal to begin with.

Just to be clear, I'm not here to bash anyone. I don't claim to be in the right while all of you who disagree with me are floating in a sea of wrong. I'm merely expressing my honest, true opinion about the events that have transpired. Yes, some of you may be offended. Yes, some of you may feel attacked. However, I feel inclined to mention that those same people who will scoff, or bitch, or whine, or grumble about my opinion have expressed theirs quite liberally on more than one occasion. If you hold no reservations about belittling others, making wild accusations, and downplaying the importance of another person's emotional experience, then be prepared to face a multitude of rebuttals and unhappy responses from all corners. That is all.

Review: RFSU Vegan Condoms

2010-07-08T16:16:00.000-07:00

Condoms: a barrier device most commonly used during sexual intercourse to reduce the likelihood of pregnancy and spreading sexually transmitted diseases. Condoms and I have a weird relationship... that relationship being that I've never actually used one. Now before you go all preachy on my ass, let me explain. I've had sex with exactly one person in my life. That person is my first and only love. That person also happens to be FTM Transgendered, meaning they were physically born female and are in the process of physically becoming male. Hence why I've never used a condom before. There has literally been no need! First of all, we're fully committed, and therefore fluid-bonded. Secondly, fingers cannot carry STD's (as far as I know), and all of my toys and our prosthetics are completely sterilizable. And lastly, neither of us have STD's anyways. *Shrugs* So I've seen condoms, heard of them, know of their general existence and purpose... but I've never actually used one. Which is why I find myself at a loss for why I thought reviewing condoms would be such a nifty idea. How do I review something I've never used? I'm not sure what condoms are supposed to feel like, how long they last, etc. This is practical experience I've never had to know or, for that matter, learn. For this reason, I'd ask that you bare with me and forgive any minor tidbit I might accidentally omit from this review. Alright, onto the products, and my first encounter with condoms!

RFSU is a brand based out of Sweden. They are a non profit organization working in the field of sexual information and education with experience since 1933. All of their products are silicone lubricated, made of high quality natural latex, and completely vegan!! The condoms come in a flat cardboard packaging that is rectangle in shape. It opens with a little flap, and your condoms (3 to a pack) are neatly tucked inside. Even the condom packaging was very interesting in that they are small and rectangle instead of large and square like most condoms you see. I thought this was a very cute, and unique approach that sets this brand apart from your usual condoms. RFSU offers four different varieties of vegan condoms. The first, Profil, is a lubricated, transparent and contoured condom with a tip. It is labeled as "The condom for a natural feeling". At 7.2" long, 2" wide, & 0.0024" thick, it is (what I believe to be) a fairly average sized condom. It is also pleasantly thin, and very smooth. This was probably my favorite of the four I tried, as it felt the most natural. Mamba is their snugger, somewhat smaller condom. It is lubricated, yellow, and contoured with a tip. Roughly 6.9" long, 2" wide, & 0.0024" thick. There is no texture at all to this condom, it is completely smooth. Okeido is their longer, fuller variety of condom. Also lubricated and transparent, with a tip. Like the other three, this condom is completely smooth. It is also the largest, at about 7.5" long, 2" wide, & 0.0027" thick. Birds 'n Bees is special in that it is the only variety that is not smooth. It features these bumps and ribs which add lovely stimulation. The Birds 'n Bees are lubricated, green condoms that are contoured with a tip. 7.28" long, 2" wide, & 0.0024" thick.This was my second favorite, coming in at a close tie with the Profil's. The bumps and ribs were what really made this condom shine. They're not very large, or pronounced, just enough so to be felt. But that small amount of texture definitely makes a difference!

Overall, my first encounter with condoms was a good one. It made cleaning up my toys a snap, and added a bit of friction to the penetration, which was different, but nice. All four varieties stood up well to my playtime activities, and I did not once experience a breakage. They truly are made of a strong, high quality latex! As a person who doesn't need to use condoms, I will probably not be doing so again. It was good to see exactly what they're all about, but unfortunately most condoms (including these) are silicone lubricated, which becomes an issue in the fact that almost all of my toys are made of silicone. You should not use silicone lube or silicone lubricated condoms on silicone toys. The same thing that keeps the silicone lube slick could turn your toys permanently tacky. However, for your average romp with a biologically inclined male, these would do excellently! And hey, they're Vegan!! Added bonus for all you animal lovers out there.

This product was provided to Tales from the ToiBox for free by O!Zone in exchange for an unbiased review.

July Giveaways & Contests!

2010-07-07T13:20:00.000-07:00

The 4th has passed, the fireworks have long died down, so I officially have no more excuses not to deliver you this awesome list of giveaways going on in the month of July!! Let's celebrate our independence (or summer as the case may be), by winning some truly excellent prizes from the following blogs and/or retailers!

Short and Sweet. Ends 7/11.
Giveaway O Doom! Ends 7/13.
Give Him What He Really Wants for Father's Day! Ends 7/15.
Happy 1 Year Blogaversary and a Giveaway! Ends 7/17.
Eden Fantasys Review and Giveaway! Ends 7/18.
Eden Fantasys {Adult Review & Giveaway} Ends 7/21.
True Pleasures' 3rd Anniversary - Grab Yourself a Party Favor! Ends 8/2.
100 Posts is a Reason to Celebrate! 8/31.

(This list is updated periodically throughout the month of July.)

Review: Lelo Tor

2010-07-05T02:59:00.000-07:00

Lelo: the name associated with luxury. Lelo equates to pleasure; to powerful, high quality, gorgeously designed toys. In this matter, the Tor is no exception. Appropriately named after Thor, the Norse god of thunder, this powerful rechargeable cock ring delivers heavenly sensations for both its wearer, and their chosen partner.

The Tor is, quite frankly, magnificent. Made of TPE & Plastic, it is hypo-allergenic, and free of both phthalates & latex. It has no taste or smell, and is constructed of high quality, food-grade materials. The toy itself consists of two pieces. The first piece is the actual cock ring portion of the toy. It is made mostly of TPE, with a solid plastic inlay seamlessly fitted into the top. The TPE is smooth, with some drag to it. Once it's snapped into place, the drag isn't something you particularly notice though. It does, however, aide in keeping the Tor positioned right where you put it. The cock ring is 1" in diameter when relaxed, and can be stretched up to a maximum of 3" in diameter. The incredible elasticity of the TPE makes this toy truly customizable, regardless of what size pecker you're packing. The second piece of this toy is a plastic bullet which slides into that aforementioned inlay in the cock ring. The bullet portion is very sturdy and smooth, with no give whatsoever. It has the Lelo name engraved into the top, and a button on either side to control the functions of the toy. When fully assembled, the Tor is 2 1/4" long, 1 3/4" wide, & 3/4" thick. It's small, but substantial.

The Tor is the most incredibly versatile cock ring you'll ever come upon. Not only is the band adjustable to fit a variety of sizes, its power is also adjustable to fit individual preferences and sensitivities. The Tor has a multitude of settings for its wearer to enjoy. To turn on the Tor, press the (+) button on one side of the bullet. This will activate the first, and lowest, steady vibration the toy features. To increase the power, continue pressing the (+) button until you reach a comfortable level. You may also hold this button down until the desired power is reached. To decrease the power, merely press the (-) button on the opposite side of the bullet. In all, the Tor has 15 different levels of steady vibration!! I wasn't kidding when I said this was a versatile, highly customizable toy. If you're looking for something a bit more interesting than steady vibes though, wait until you try the patterns! The Tor features 5 different patterns. These patterns can be accessed by holding down the (+) button & then releasing while on the highest steady setting. The patterns are as follows: pulsating, faster pulsating, increasing steady vibration which reaches a climax and stops, escalating, & rhythmic escalating. They're all unique and provide intense, varied stimulation. To return to steady vibrations while on a pattern, merely press the (-) button once. I really loved that the Tor has so many different sensations to offer. With too many toys it's either turn it on & buzz yourself to death, or die waiting for the vibrations to do anything more than tickle. Thankfully, with the Tor, you can choose that perfect level of vibration, or that particular setting, without having to go searching through the toy chest for a different toy each time. I was very impressed with the power of this toy! My partner, as many of you know, is Transgendered. We originally lusted after this toy hoping that it might add a little extra 'ooph' to our love-making. And boy did it ever! The Tor is actually so powerful that my partner can feel the vibrations through a prosthetic, and a harness! His orgasms seem more intense and prolonged. I, as a woman, also really appreciated the extra sensation the Tor gave me. The bullet is positioned near perfectly for clitoral stimulation! Every time my sweetie would thrust, I'd get a firm, buzzing bullet rubbed up against my clit. I'd be left gasping, moaning, at his mercy. One of his favorite things to do was just watch my reactions every time he'd nudge that cock ring a little bit closer to my throbbing clit. It definitely makes for a more intimate, orgasmic experience. The one and only downside I found to using the Tor, was that it could sometimes become a bit uncomfortable for me if we got into frenzied thrusting. With slow, even, calculated strokes, it was magnificent. But an increase in speed left my clit a little banged and abused. This was my own personal dilemma that you may or may not experience for yourself, and which could be remedied by turning the cock ring upside down so that the bullet faces away from your clitoris.

The Tor came beautifully packaged in a small black box detailing the product. Included was a 1 year warranty, 10 year guarantee, instruction & care manual, plastic storing/charging case, & charger. To charge your Tor, merely disassemble the cock ring and place it lovingly in its sturdy case (making sure the charging port on the side of the bullet is facing the small opening on the side of the case). Plug the charger into the port of your toy and let charge for 2 hours to receive an equal 2 hours of play. Hooray! No more silly watch batteries to fiddle with. No more worries about your beloved cock ring dying at an inopportune moment! Consider this icing on an already very rich, delicious cake.

Unfortunately, the Tor cannot be sterilized as a portion of it is made from TPE. For this reason, I suggest sharing with only fluid-bonded partners. To clean your beloved toy, merely wash with warm water and antibacterial soap. Ensure that the toy is completely dry before attempting to store and/or charge it. Store in a safe, dry place, away from the light. Cherish it like the precious implement of pleasure it truly is.

This sex toy review sponsored by Adult Sex Toys : over 8,000 sex toys & adult toys to choose from.

This product was provided to Tales from the ToiBox for free in exchange for an unbiased review.

Howl (or Scream) at the Moon

2010-06-26T22:15:00.000-07:00

I don't know what it is about a full moon, but it always manages to bring out my wilder side. I get horny, and mood-swingy, and perhaps just a little growly. No, this is not some sci-fi episode of Confessions of a Teenage Werewolf. This is just me, admitting that maybe I haven't evolved as far from my primal urges as most of society would like to believe. There's still a bit of beast in me. And whether I am consciously aware of it or not, there's a part of me that is instinctually alert to the changes & shifts in the world around us.

Last night was a full moon. It was also a lunar eclipse. The nights leading up to which have been filled with feral acts and behaviors. What this boils down to, in the most simplified of terms, is equal amounts fighting, fucking, and insanity. I never realize until the dust settles, either. Until the pot's already called the kettle black, and a litany of other insulting words, screamed it's head off about something or another, and been removed from the burner. During that cooling off period, one of us happens to step outside, to open a window, to glance up at the sky, and it becomes apparent. This isn't just everyday bitching, this is a full moon smack-down! As ridiculous as it sounds, we have our most heated, illogical arguments under the light of the full, or nearly full, moon. Maybe it's all psychological? Maybe it's just coincidence? But I prefer to believe that it somehow ties in on a grander scale. There's an energy around that time of the month; something raw, and powerful, that doesn't do wonders for our humanity, as it were. I don't quite understand it, but I respect it. I know enough to realize "I may be legitimately angry about these minuscule topics, but something else is at play here." I try not to take the blows we dole out to each other too roughly, and forgive and forget as quickly as the madness takes its leave.

It bugs me though.. Something about that gleaming bright moon, in all its glory, manages to rob me of my control! It takes hold of my senses and ability to reason and starts jangling them about until I don't know which way is up. It can make me rabid as a hyena, or happy as a damn clam. It's all about how I take that energy into myself, and channel it. Sex, anger, and mild violence all seem to be my expression of choice. My hope is that, as time progresses, so may I. That I can learn patience, understanding, restraint. Perhaps with meditation, and multiple, non-aggressive orgasms, I'll find the peace that I seek. For now, I suppose I'll just sit back & enjoy all that angry sex! *Wink, wink*

Your Blog Is HOT Award

2010-06-24T13:55:00.000-07:00

Seaofneptune, being the sweetheart that she is, has given me my first blog award! Isn't it just so sultry looking? I'm ecstatic to have received one! Besides being flattered, I'm also excited as hell, because now I get the chance to spread the sexy blog love!

According to the rules, I may now pick 5 others (who I assume have not been nominated previously) to get the award. Then they may make a post with the graphic, post the graphic on their blog, then nominate 5 other sexy blogs and comment with a link to let them know!

I will be offering the award to:

Please right click & save the graphic to your computer.

Thanks, & congratulations all you HOT bloggers!!

Diary of a Mad Menstruating Woman, pt. 2

2010-06-23T19:28:00.000-07:00

Looking back on my previous post about menstruation, I realized that I was coming from the crazed side of the spectrum. Right now, as I am once again afflicted by that lovely gift I was given the day my chromosomes both read 'x', I find myself in a completely different state of mind. Sure, having your period can make you bitchy, and cranky, and generally hormonal.. but sometimes it does the opposite. Sometimes I find myself utterly exhausted, in both the physical and emotional sense of the word. Today was one of those days. Fairly average period so far: cravings, cramps, random outbursts. Check, check, & check. But suddenly, today I woke up to find I didn't have the energy for any of that bullshit. I've been stuck in this sedated state all day long. I barely want to speak or move, and have little control over the thoughts parading about my head. And trust me, some weird and disturbing things have ravaged through my mind, leaving destruction in their wake. I found myself a bit nostalgic, and delirious. I continuously kept filling myself up with doubts and uncertainties, to the point I either had to float or sink in a sea of restless thoughts. I've been completely overwhelmed by the mundane and the ridiculous, and I just needed to talk about it without really talking about it, if you know what I mean. So consider this my release. My chance to vent and feel better about myself, while simultaneously confusing the crap out of you. And I do, by the way. I feel better already, despite the fact that this exhaustion has failed to leave me. Anyways, I think I'll shut up now. Thanks for listening to my inane rambling.

Review: Babelight

2010-06-23T18:17:00.000-07:00

Say Hello to my little friend! No, that was not intended as a phallic reference, or a threat. I was merely referring to the Babelight! An adorable novelty toy from Babeland. The Babelight, as its name implies, is essentially a tiny vibrator and flashlight combined. It is best suited for light external stimulation, and is the perfect pocket pal for your clitoris, nipples, and other fun spots. It could also be used for shallow vaginal penetration, but really isn't large enough or strong enough to be very effective. Do NOT, however, attempt to insert this anally. As tempting as it may be to use the key-chain as a retrieval cord, envision the consequent walk of shame to the ER, should that chain happen to break. Best be on the safe side and keep this little cutie away from your patootie.

The Babelight is made of smooth, transparent, hard plastic. It's available in your choice of 6 vibrant colors. I received the red, which is pretty spiffy. Size-wise, this toy is 3 5/8" long, and 3/4" wide. It comes with a key-chain, looped through a hole in the bottom of the toy. The chain adds another 2" to its length. It also makes this travel friendly, and way fun to tote around with you! The light is completely covered in plastic, and therefore any surface of the toy can be used for stimulation. The vibrations are strongest at the tip, where the light is emitted from. However, they can be felt faintly throughout the shaft of the toy. The Babelight is also remarkably quiet! It can become a bit noisy if you allow the chain to dangle loosely, however, as it tends to rattle against the plastic.

To keep your Babelight clean, merely wash with antibacterial soap and warm water. The inside of the cap does feature a small plastic o-ring, which should help to keep water out of the battery compartment. However, I've found that it isn't all that effective at its job. I've rinsed this under running water, and submerged it, and both times I've found moisture inside the cap. It would probably be best to wipe this down with a damp cloth instead of rinsing it under running water. You could also wipe it down with some isopropyl alcohol, if you'd like to disinfect it.

I was practically jumping for joy when I heard that this lovely little bullet didn't require the use of those annoying watch batteries!! To use your Babelight, simply unscrew the cap of the toy, and insert one AAA battery. Screw the cap back on, and when it's fully attached, the toy will activate. Unfortunately, the light and vibrations work simultaneously, so you couldn't just whip this out in front of your friends and family to illuminate a situation. Not unless you're comfortable having your flashlight buzzing merrily away all the while. I was a little disappointed that it couldn't be used more inconspicuously, but it's a fun item non-the-less. As far as performance is concerned, the Babelight delivers about as much as you'd expect from a toy of its size and price. The vibrations are very buzzy and light. You won't receive earth shattering, clit numbing power from this tiny toy. It's more intended for soft teasing, and naughty fun in public. The light isn't particularly bright either. It's suitable enough to help you search for that lost change, or the keyhole to your door, but is not really meant for more heavy duty tasks. However, it's still a really adorable item, and would make a great little stocking stuffer or gift for your more frisky friends.

This product was provided to Tales from the ToiBox for free by Babeland in exchange for an unbiased review.

June Giveaways & Contests!

2010-06-21T19:30:00.000-07:00

It occurred to me today that June is practically over, & I have yet to publish a list for all the exciting giveaways and contests that have been taking place this month!! I feel like I've failed you all somehow. So, as a last ditch effort to atone, here's this month's list of all the free swag that's still up for grabs. Please, make me feel better, and go win something!

Fuck Sleep Pillowcase Giveaway. Ends 6/23.
Eden Fantasys Review & Giveaway! Ends 6/25.
Revenge of the Sea Giveaway! Ends 6/27.
Win K-Balls! Ends 6/30.
Win an Amazing Hot Heart Massager! Ends 6/30.
Intimate Organics Giveaway. Ends 7/4.
Sharing the Vamp Love with You! Ends 7/4.
Win a $50 GC to Eden Fantasys! Ends 7/10.
Give Him What He Really Wants for Father's Day! Ends 7/15.

(This list is updated periodically throughout the month of June.)

Who's Your Daddy Father's Day WINNER!!

2010-06-19T22:54:00.000-07:00

At long last, the time has arrived. The time to pick our winner. So, who won that spiffy Trick Bondage Belt that can function as an accessory, restraints, and a whip? Who will be enjoying days and nights of subsequent pain and pleasure? Why none other than My Buzz on Vibes!!! Congratulations darling! Please contact me with your shipping info, and I'll get it on over to Eden Fantasys. You have a 48 hour window to claim this prize, at which time if you do not, another winner will be selected.

Thank you to everyone who participated in this giveaway! I wish I could distribute Trick Bondage Belt's to each and every one of you that entered. It's a great product which I honestly believe everyone should own. Sadly, this is not within my realm of possibility. However, if you're interested in purchasing a Trick Bondage Belt your own, you may do so here. Be sure to stay on the lookout for more awesome giveaways from Tales from the ToiBox! Oh, and Happy Father's Day everyone!

Thank you again to Eden Fantasys for sponsoring this giveaway!

Review: Voila

2010-06-19T22:28:00.000-07:00

The Voila has a lot of great characteristics that I look for in my playthings. It's small, it's quiet, it's rechargeable, made of a safe material, easy to operate and clean, and it's even waterproof! Unfortunately, it lacks power. The Voila may make a great tool for foreplay, or an aide during either intercourse or oral. But sadly, by itself, it just isn't that amazing. A pretty toy, at a reasonable price, that would be great for beginners.

Read the full review on Eden Fantasys by clicking here.

Voila Clitoral vibrator by California Exotic Material: Velvet cote™ Safety: $59.99 Buy from EdenFantasys
Rating:	Vroom:	Bee:

This product was provided to Tales from ToiBox for free by Eden Fantasys in exchange for an unbiased review.

Review: Trick Bondage Belt

2010-06-19T16:17:00.000-07:00

As many of you know, I'm hosting a Father's Day Giveaway. One lucky winner will received an awesome prize inspired by Dads (but don't worry, you don't have to be a father, or even a man, to enter). However, it occurred to me that you probably didn't realize the potential of the product you might be receiving. So, without further ado, I present my review of the Trick Bondage Belt by Leatherbeaten. Giveaway ends tonight at midnight. Be sure to get those last minute entries in!

The Trick Bondage Belt is one of those lovely multipurpose toys that can pass for a mundane, everyday object. If you know me in the slightest, you'll realize that this is one attribute that I adore in my playthings! The ability to carry them out into the waking world and flaunt them in others face's. Truth be told, I almost get off on it. So it should be no shock to you that I found myself in love with the Trick Bondage Belt, as its first (and simplest) function is to be worn as a belt. I've worn it to the mall, to a party, to the grocery store.. no one has even spared it a glance. It's a belt, as far they're concerned, and there's nothing else to it in their minds. Thankfully, we're a bit more creative of a bunch. A regular belt in the hands of one person can become a restraint mechanism in the hands of another. Ah yes, and that brings me to its second use: restraints. The Trick Bondage Belt can be craftily transformed into either wrist or ankle restraints for a bit of kinky fun! But wait-- the surprises don't stop there! Oh no, this belt has one more trick up its sleeve (if belts had sleeves)! Because not only does this bad boy function as a fashion accessory and restraints, it also makes a killer whip! That's right, there's three awesome ways to use this one simple toy. Still interested? Want to hear more?

The Trick Bondage Belt is made of sturdy black leather with silver bolts and buckles. Because it's made of leather, I'd suggest keeping it in a safe, dry place, unless you'd like it to mold. If you must clean it, wipe it down with a damp cloth and some mild soap, and make certain it is completely dry before storing. Alright, back to the belt itself. I would consider this a gender-neutral item, as it looks great worn by either a man or a woman. It is 46" long, 1 1/4" wide, & 1/8" thick. On the end of the belt that features the buckle, there are a few things an average belt won't have. Roughly 6" from the buckle there's a silver metal loop connecting one side of the leather with another. Roughly 6" from that silver loop is another loop, also connecting one side of the leather with the other. This is where it could get confusing. To transform your boring old belt into restraints, you have to weave the bare side of the belt through these silver metal loops in a specific way. I'll do my best to explain. First start by laying the belt so that the glossy top side is down. Grab hold of the bare end of the belt and thread it through the metal loop closest to the bare end. You will be left with a loop in the leather. This is where one of your wrists (or ankles) will go. Now thread the bare end of the belt through the other loop, going the opposite way. Pull until it is flat against this strip of leather. Thread the bare end of the belt once more through the actual belt buckle, and fasten at desired tightness. There is a small silver loop next to the buckle, thread the bare end of the belt through this, and then through the 2nd loop again if there is an excess of belt remaining. What you're left with is a sturdy set of restraints. When fastened around a person's ankles or wrists, you can get a very secure, snug fit. If you would like to use this as a whip instead, fold the belt in half until the buckle end matches up with the bare end of the belt. Grab these two ends, and fold the belt from the first metal loop until the two ends meet the second metal loop. This folded section will serve as a handle, and the loose belt end as the whip.

The Trick Bondage Belt excels at spontaneity. The whole purpose behind it is that you could be anywhere, with anyone, and still be prepared to showcase your kinkier side! The restraints are very strong, and will likely hold up to even rough play. There's zero chance of this slipping off accidentally during sex or other activities. However, with enough thought and effort put into, someone could probably Houdini their way out of it. I love the feel of the leather biting against my skin whenever I struggle against my restraints, and knowing that the Trick Bondage Belt won't break or come loose. As a whip, it leaves a little to be desired. Because it's a belt (and therefore somewhat floppy), it can be difficult to control. You have to put some concentrated effort behind it to get it to strike where, and how hard, you want it to. When you use it right though, you're efforts will be greatly rewarded by a lovely, blossoming sting. All in all, I love my new kinky accessory. The Trick Bondage Belt is a durable, quality item, that will likely last a very long time. With multiple ways to use it, and so much fun to be had, I have to wonder.. why don't you own one yet?

This product was provided to Tales from the ToiBox for free by Eden Fantasys in exchange for an unbiased review.

$39.99Trick bondage belt Restraints by Leatherbeaten Material: Leather Safety: Buy from EdenFantasys
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer.

Review: Beyond G Spot Dildo 3

2010-06-17T18:57:00.000-07:00

When I was given the opportunity to review a toy from Fascinations, I immediately accepted. I admit, I was excited, anxious, jittery even, about what I might receive. Thankfully the Fates (aka Shanna) were kind, & I was assigned a toy that would soon make my very body quake & tremble with ecstasy... The Ophoria Beyond G Spot Dildo 3 (or, as I've affectionately nicknamed it, the G-Wiz) is a gorgeous dildo made of luscious, velvety silicone. It is non-porous, hypo-allergenic, and free of both phthalates & latex. It has no taste or smell, and can even be sterilized by boiling for 3 minutes, wiping down with a 10% bleach solution, or tossing it in the top rack of your dishwasher. For everyday use, cleaning it with antibacterial soap and warm water should do the trick. But enough about cleaning, let's talk about the G3 itself! Slick it up with some water based lubricant, and we'll begin our in-depth look at this rockin' toy!

The Beyond G Spot Dildo 3 is a curvaceous little lady in a very seductive form. At 9 1/2" long, 6 1/2" insertable, and with a diameter of 1 1/2", it's a somewhat average sized toy. And you wouldn't know it from lookin', but this beauty knows just how to please you. From the rigidness of its body, to its perfectly angled bulbous head, the G3 is perfection! The majority of the G3's shaft is straight, with the head ending in a slightly curved bulb. Along the shaft, leading up to this rounded head, there are three raised ridges which add some very nice texture to this toy. It's not extreme or uncomfortable feeling when inserted, and if anything, actually makes the toy all the more pleasurable! The handle has a large hole for easy gripping, though the whole toy is actually very solid, and easy to use. It is available in black, pink, & purple. I, as you can see, received the purple, which I love. It's kind of a magenta-y purple. Very bright & vibrant. I adore it!

The G3, as its name implies, is intended for G-spot stimulation. That's what it's made for, and that's how I suggest you use it. The bulbous end is large enough, and feels amazing, when rubbed against your clitoris. However, everything about this toy was designed with you and your g-spot in mind. The large ball on the end of the toy actually makes it practically impossible not to rub against your g-spot! It can be a little tricky to insert at first because of that rather robust bulb. But once you get the hang of it, you'll want to pop this bad boy in-between your legs every chance you get! Just make sure to do so with patience, care, & more than a little lube. This toy is, as I mentioned above, very firm. The shaft can still flex a bit, but the end of the toy is unyielding, and hence orgasmic when pressed against that special pleasure point! Because of this firmness, you don't have to try very hard to get the amount of pressure you require. I thought this was absolutely fabulous, as I'm often afraid I'm going to bruise myself because I press so hard! One unfortunate aspect of the toy's design that I noticed in use, however, is that the bulbous head often catches on my pubic bone. If I'm not careful, this can become somewhat painful. Thankfully, my g-spot's so damn happy getting stimulated, I usually forget (or ignore) the fact that this is happening. A toy that's great enough to make you forget its flaws, even while experiencing them? Yup, we have a winner!! I find, personally, that short, swift strokes work best with this toy. Which is actually great, because you get the stimulation you need without your arm turning into a wet noodle. It can give me the intense g-spot stimulation I crave, without a ton of work. All in all, the Ophoria Beyond G Spot Dildo 3 is a lean, mean, squirt-producing machine! Do yourself a favor and get one. You will NOT be disappointed.

This product was provided to Tales from the ToiBox for free by Fascinations in exchange for an unbiased review.

Epiphora's Woodgasm Giveaway!

2010-06-17T08:03:00.000-07:00

Epiphora is hosting a giveaway on her blog! Are you ready to have a Woodgasm? Because that's the theme of this giveaway! Wood is apparently very very good, and Nobessence wood is rumored to be pure heaven. You ready to win a luxury toy? Then get your booty on over there and enter!!

The winner of this giveaway will get to choose whichever NobEssence toy they want from SheVibe — butt plug, dildo, cock ring, kegel exerciser, whichever they most desire. And this giveaway is open to my international readers!* Beautiful, yes?
Twitter trivia parties!
The most exciting way to enter this giveaway will be to attend one or both of the two Twitter parties I’ll be holding. YEAH, I’M GOING THERE. Com’n, it’ll be fun! We’ll use the hashtag #woodgasm, chat about sex toys, and each participant will earn an entry into the giveaway just for participating. I’ll also be asking trivia questions, and party-goers who are quickest to correctly answer these questions will get extra entries.
Party #1: Saturday, June 12th, 2010, 3 p.m. — 4 p.m. PST. (what time for you?)
Party #2: Wednesday, June 16th, 2010, 6 p.m. — 7 p.m. PST. (what time for you?)
Be sure to follow me on Twitter beforehand! Also, in preparation for the trivia questions, here are some study materials:
SheVibe’s NobEssence page
NobEssence’s website (poke around)
The Wikipedia article for “dildo”
Other ways to enter
Oh yes, there are always more…
5 entries: Write a blog post about this giveaway. Use my graphic, just host it yourself. Be sure to mention the Twitter parties!
3 entries: Comment on this post telling me which NobEssence piece you want the most and why.
3 entries: Subscribe to my RSS feed or subscribe via email.
Deadline: June 20th, 2010 at 11:59 p.m. PST.
* Fine print: This giveaway is open to everyone everywhere, but if you live outside the U.S., you will need to pay any customs taxes or tariffs levied by your country. Winner will be selected randomly from a list of entries.

Dangerous Lilly’s Milestone Giveaway!

2010-06-17T07:43:00.000-07:00

Dangerous Lilly's 2nd Blogiversary is coming up, and to commemorate this awesome event, she has decided to host a giveaway! She has 6 prizes to give away to 6 lucky contestants. Want to help her celebrate and win some awesome swag at the same time? I know I do!! Check out the original contest post on her site to find out how you can enter, too.

The Prizes and Sponsors:

Kink Academy

One lucky winner will get a full 1-year membership to the Kink Academy, thanks to Princess Kali. A membership to Kink Academy normally costs $9.95 a month which is a really damn good deal for all the new content that gets uploaded every month, and all the existing content.

Shevibe.com

Shevibe.com generously has donated Lilly’s Holy Grail sex toy, the Njoy Pure Wand.

Fascinations

Fascinations has something for the boys – not just a Fleshlight, a Fleshlight Lady Vibro Touch! This one has a special inner texture and spots to tuck in 3 little bullet vibrators so you can have it vibrate if you want.

MyPleasure.com

MyPleasure.com has donated a beautiful Tantus dildo, the Twilight Vamp Dildo! Gorgeous, pale and sparkly silicone.

MauiKink.com

MauiKink.com, a great manufacturer of tons of gorgeous, handmade (in Maui!), kinky accoutrements and bondage rope is donating not 0nly a beautiful “frat” style Mahogany and Koa wood paddle, but also (2) 6MM 15ft lengths of Natural Romanian Hemp Rope.

Good Vibrations

Good Vibrations is giving one winner the Wahl 2-Speed massager, a powerhouse external vibrator.

Review: Goodfella

2010-06-13T01:46:00.000-07:00

Lookin' for a good time? Why not try the Goodfella! A realistically shaped and textured dildo that can be used either solo or with a partner. The Goodfella is suitable for vaginal or anal penetration, and can even be utilized for pack-n-play. He makes a great tool for simulating oral sex, or for the ever popular and immature sport of "cock-slapping". Squeeze the base of this little guy together to back him into a harness, and experience the feeling of the Goodfella's balls smacking against your partner's writhing body! Want to show that special person how much you dig them? Stuff this stiffy into your jeans and feel free to use cheesy pick up lines and poorly executed innuendo! Versatile, realistic, and fun! A great multitude of uses await you with the Goodfella in tow.

The Goodfella is non-porous, hypo-allergenic, and completely free of both phthalates and latex. It is made of VixSkin, which is in fact a very unique blend of silicone that feels as soft and authentic as real flesh. It features a firm, inner core covered in a plush, outer layer. It is somewhat tacky to the touch, but its stickiness can be easily remedied by dusting lightly with corn starch (do NOT use baby powder or talcum powder). VixSkin, technically being silicone, is a hygienically superior material. It can be disinfected by boiling for three minutes, tossing it in the top rack of your dishwasher, or wiping down with a 10% bleach solution. You should always disinfect this toy before switching orifices. IE: Don't stick this in your butt, and then shove it up your vagina. No! Just-- No. For everyday care, washing it with antibacterial soap and warm water should suffice. Because it's made of silicone, and also perhaps because it's so sticky, this thing is a dust/hair/fuzz magnet. If you have animals, this could be slightly problematic (unless you intend to use it as a lint roller). For this reason, I'd recommend cleaning it before and after each use. Please be sure to only use water based lubricants with this toy, unless your intention is actually to destroy it, in which case: [sarcasm] No, go right on ahead, that Silicone lube will do the trick! [/sarcasm] Just in case you missed that, I clearly identified the beginning and end of my sarcastic comment to ensure that those words are not taken as sincere. What it should actually read is "Do NOT use Silicone based lubricants on this toy. Ever. The End."

The Goodfella is fairly average in size. It is 7" in total length, 5 1/2" insertable, and 1 1/2" in diameter. Definitely not petite, but not quite large either. It would be a fairly decent toy for beginners and advanced users a like. Personally, I consider myself somewhere in between, and this toy is nicely filling for me. During penetration though, it almost feels a little smaller in diameter than my other, similarly sized, playthings. I attribute this to the fact that the shaft is not as firm as standard silicone toys, and therefore seems a little less filling. Apart from its composition, what makes the Goodfella unique is that it has balls specifically placed so that they may rest on the outside of a harness. Why is this important? Not only do the plush balls protect your partner from those unyielding o-rings, but they also give a nice little slap against the clitoris or ass with each thrust. Yes! Finally! Do you know how long I've waited for some good ball-slapping sex? Too long, my friends, too long.. Besides being ingeniously placed, the balls are also realistically sized and textured, and easily pass the "squeeze-test". The shaft has some decent detailing, including veins and a nicely pronounced head. You can't particularly feel the veins in use, but they're aesthetically pleasing nonetheless. The shaft is also very gently curved, which helps to stimulate your spots, be them G or P. The Goodfella is available in 3 different tones: Vanilla, Caramel, & Chocolate. I received the Caramel, which is kind of a very light tan. I actually own another Vixen Creations dildo in the Vanilla, and it is pretty pale, so be wary when picking your skin tone. Overall, I'm very pleased with the design of this toy!

So, how did this bad boy perform? As a packer, it didn't do too great. My sweetheart was so very excited about the prospect of a prosthetic suitable for pack-n-play. So was I. I would've loved to have been able to spontaneously have penetrative sex without the awkward "Wait, let me find the harness. Oh crap, this dildo's dirty!" chatter in between. Unfortunately, the Goodfella is just a bit too prominent for everyday casual wear. Because of the length and firmness of the toy, it was rather difficult to coerce into a pair of pants without being incredibly obvious. Honestly, it looked like my partner had a huge boner (which may be amusing, or even erotic, around the house, but is probably not appropriate to show off at the grocery store). Alright, so it didn't exactly work out for us as a packer. However, in a harness the Goodfella is absolute perfection! Getting it into the harness takes a little patience, as you have to squish the base together and then back it into the o-ring. However, once it's in, it isn't going anywhere! The Goodfella hangs at a very organic, natural angle and is incredibly luscious and smooth once inside you. As mentioned above, the slightly curved shaft and pronounced head help to stimulate your G-spot (or P-spot, as the case may be). The balls positioning above the harness makes sex comfortable, and even more enticing! I still love hearing and feeling the balls slap against me as I get fucked. It really adds something to the experience! VixSkin also retains heat very well, and that, combined with the texture of the material itself, makes this the most realistic attachment we've ever used! It easily trumps all my other well loved dildos, and has now become the most frequent harness compatible toy we reach for. But wait-- its wonders don't stop there! It's also mind blowing when used for masturbation! The base makes an effective handle for either yourself or a partner to hold. I've tried it by myself a few times, but my absolute favorite use for this toy is to have my partner fuck me with it by hand. He can produce this incredible mixture of speed, pressure, and realism that I just can't get with any other toy. I can actually detach from the fact of what it is, and let myself imagine that I'm just being truly and literally fucked. It is a spectacular experience!

All in all, I adore the Goodfella! It's very pleasing to the eye, and the vag. Sadly not as miraculous for pack-n-play as I had hoped, but still a very worth-while investment! A big thank you to Vixen Creations for letting my partner and I test drive one of your inventive products!

This product was provided to Tales from the ToiBox for free by Vixen Creations in exchange for an unbiased review.

$109.99Goodfella

Realistic dildo by Vixen Creations

Material: VixSkin

Safety:

Buy from EdenFantasys

Review: Eroscillator Top Deluxe / Soft Finger Combo

2010-06-10T05:17:00.000-07:00

The Eroscillator: an incredible vibrator that strikes awe and respect into the hearts of many. Notorious for bringing wet sheets and broad grins to women (and men) everywhere. With a reputation like that, it's no wonder it has such an intimidating name! I'd heard legends, myths really, about its miraculous power. But never did I imagine that I myself would one day be able to experience it first hand. Somehow though, the stars aligned... Okay, so really, I just asked the manufacturer to test it out. I dared them really. Perhaps even somewhat taunted them with statements about their product living up to its reputation. Yes, I know. Talk about waving a steak around in front of a hungry shark! Well, it worked. They bit! The extremely generous people at Eroscillator agreed to send me one of their products for review!! The Eroscillator Top Deluxe / Soft Finger Combo, the newest version of the original, featuring a more powerful motor!

The product came in a purple cardboard box which housed the Eroscillator, power cord, attachments, and a small plastic pouch for storing said attachments. I also received a booklet about the product, a slip of paper containing safety and care instructions, and a DVD narrated by Dr. Ruth (which, by the way, is hilarious). The day it arrived in the mail, I tore through the package like a kid at Christmas, quickly disregarding everything but my shiny new toy. I immediately attached one of the heads, plugged the beast in, turned it on, and was met with disappointment. "Really?", I thought. "That's it?" It didn't feel powerful... at least not in my hand. At that point, I sadly feared that the hype surrounding the Eroscillator was just that: hype. Oh how very, very wrong I was.

The Eroscillator is like the Terminator of sex toys. Looking rather like a spartan warrior or some kind of steam punk weapon, it's definitely the most bad ass toy in my toy box. The shaft of the toy itself is a coppery gold plastic, and it's powered by electricity. The plug in can be found on the bottom of the toy, and there's even a little notch on the side of the base so it can sit on a flat surface without tipping over. It comes with a HUGE 12 foot long cord which leaves plenty of room to use your new toy in whatever position you may get yourself into. At 8" long, the Eroscillator is a rather big beastie, and the attachments add another 3" to its already towering height. In case you missed a beat, that means this guy is 11" tall when fully assembled!! Because of this fact, I feared it would be awkward or uncomfortable to wield. Not so! It's actually incredibly light and easy to maneuver. It fits well in your hand, and the lovely ridges featured all along its shaft make for easy gripping, no matter how slippery your fingers are. A plastic strip on the shaft of the toy slides up and down to turn it on and change the settings. There are 3 different power levels, all of which are absolutely orgasmic! I like to refer to them as "gentle", "powerful", and "cross your eyes, curl your toes, hold on for dear life". It's fairly quiet for a toy of this caliber, but certainly not "whisper quiet", as advertised. The Eroscillator can actually become reasonably loud depending on which attachment you're using. I believe the noise is due to the attachments rattling around a bit, because as soon as you press this to flesh, it does become virtually silent. Even at it's loudest, this is a fairly inconspicuous toy, as far as sound goes. You'd likely hear it through sheets if someone was laying right next to you, but it's unlikely it could be heard through a closed door, or from far enough away. Considering its power, it's actually one of the quieter toys I own.

The Top Deluxe / Soft Finger Combo comes with 6 attachments of different shapes and texture. They all have varying levels of firmness as well. Some are a bit softer, and more pliable, while others are very solid. Eroscillator claims that all of them except the Soft Finger are made from TPR; the soft finger is listed as Elastomer, which makes sense, as it's as soft and squishy as a marshmallow. From left to right in the photo provided the attachments are: the Ultra Soft Finger Tip, the Grapes & Cockscomb, the Golden Spoon, the Ball & Cup, the French Legionnair's Moustache, and the Seven Pearls of the Orient. These attachments are mainly intended for clitoral stimulation (with the exception of the Seven Pearls of the Orient, which was specifically developed for vaginal and anal penetration), but can be used on virtually any bodily surface. The French Legionnair's Moustache is my favorite attachment as it's perfect for a light fluttery teasing, or direct stimulation, depending on your mood. It makes a great implement for trailing butterfly kisses all over your partner's body, or working them into a lustful frenzy! I also really loved the Ultra Soft Finger Tip because of its gentle touch. It's the head I most often reach for after we've already gone a few rounds and I'm sensitive or sore. My sweetheart is strongly attached to the Ball & Cup, and uses it on me frequently. The Ball & Cup is perfect for not only clitoral stimulation, but also for teasing your nipples because of its specific shape. I did not particularly enjoy the Grapes & Cockscomb, or the Golden Spoon; both of these were entirely too bumpy and rough for my liking. Strangely enough though, I adored the Seven Pearls of the Orient as a clit stimulator. It's great if you're looking for solid, pinpoint stimulation, as it's the firmest of all the attachments. I'm actually really pleased that the manufacturer created several different heads for this toy. Everyone is unique in what type of sensations they prefer. What's amazing for me may be ho-hum for you, and so forth. Thankfully, having the option to switch out a head that may not be working for you with one that does makes this toy completely customizable, versatile, and superior! Perfect for beginners and advanced users alike! There really is something for everyone.

As I mentioned above, the Eroscillator is mainly intended for clitoral stimulation, but some of the heads also allow for vaginal and anal penetration. It's marketed towards women, but don't get discouraged just yet fellas, you can have some fun with this toy too! Besides just teasing any little sweet spots you have, the Eroscillator can also be used on the ball sac, perineum, and shaft or head of the penis. This is even a great toy for all you Trans guys out there to use! I pressed the Eroscillator to the head of my partner's prosthetic and he said he could feel it all the way through the shaft! The sensations were so powerful that they went, literally, right to his groin. That's an impressive feat! While excellent for solo masturbation, the Eroscillator is also perfect to use for foreplay, and even during intercourse! Introducing the Eroscillator during love making definitely provides heightened arousal and deeper, more intense orgasms.

If you need a little extra slickness during playtime, the Eroscillator is safe to use with water based lubricants. To clean this bad boy, simply detach the heads and wash with warm water and antibacterial soap. The Eroscillator's shaft is NOT waterproof, but it can be rinsed under running water. NEVER immerse this toy in water while in use or plugged in. Be sure to unplug this toy when not in use, and do not leave it unattended. Store in a clean, dry place out of the light. The cord can be rolled to protect against damage, and the heads stored in their respective plastic storage pouch.

Alright, so by no means is this the most powerful toy I've ever used. But somehow, it's the most efficient at achieving arousal and orgasms. It works, and it works incredibly well! I think what makes the difference is the function of this particular toy. Unlike traditional vibrators, the Eroscillator doesn't vibrate, it "oscillates". If you're like me, the notion of a toy "oscillating" probably doesn't sound very exciting, or even mean much to you. But believe me, it makes an astounding difference! Basically, instead of pounding against your body like traditional vibrators, it moves swiftly side to side, imitating the natural movement of a finger, but at a much faster speed. The Eroscillator Top Deluxe produces 7200 of these steady oscillations every minute! And because it's electric, you never have to worry about it losing power or dying. Yes, you heard me. You'll never have to buy batteries for this toy. Ever. At times, the Eroscillator almost feels a little too powerful. I admit, the first time I used it, I was a bit shell shocked. My experience went something like this: Plugged it in, turned it on, touched it to clit, squirted TWICE within 5 minutes! Yes, I didn't just orgasm, I had female ejaculating orgasms! From a clit stimulator! Do I really need to further emphasize the strength of this toy? Yeah, I didn't think so.

So, here's the question you've been dying to hear me answer: Does the Eroscillator live up to its reputation? Survey says: YES!! Yes, yes, yes! A thousand times yes. I admit, it does have a somewhat intimidating price tag. However, in my honest opinion, it is 100% worth it. I feel positively blessed to have been given the opportunity to have tested out this unique, superb product. Thank you to the wonderful people over at Eroscillator for allowing me to review the Eroscillator Top Deluxe / Soft Finger Combo! It's been an experience that I will never forget.

This product was provided to Tales from the ToiBox for free by Eroscillator in exchange for an unbiased review.

Who's Your Daddy Father's Day Giveaway

2010-06-05T15:34:00.000-07:00

Father's Day will soon be upon us, do you know what you're getting for that special guy in your life? One thing I find truer and truer every year is that it's exceedingly difficult to shop for men. What does he want? What can I get him that he doesn't already have, something he could really use? Power tools? Nah, there's already a ton of those cluttering up the garage. Clothing? Accessories? Yeah, because there's nothing more exciting than a belt. Well, actually, I suppose it depends on the type of belt you give him.. For instance, how about the Trick Bondage Belt by Leatherbeaten? It can be a fashion statement, a whip, and restraints. That's what I call 3-in-one gifting goodness!

Psst! Guess what? I'm giving one away!! I've decided, since I held a Mother's Day giveaway, it would only be fair if I also gave away something for the fellas! You don't have to be a father, or even a man, to enter. Just perhaps like leather, belts, or restraints. I'm sure most of you will fall into one of those categories. *Wink, wink* So, on to the question you're all dying to know the answer to. How do you win?

Ways to Win

Subscribe to my blog via RSS. {1 entry}
Subscribe to my blog via email. {3 entries}
Follow my blog via Google Friend Connect. {3 entries}
Link to my blog on your blog, or in your blogroll. {3 entries}
Enter my sweetheart's very first giveaway! Win a FREE T-shirt!! {5 entries}
Comment on any ( & as many) of my other posts as you'd like. {1 entry per post}
Follow me on Twitter and tweet about this giveaway once per day! Be sure to include @Splendwhore, and a link to this contest. Provide a link to your tweet. Example: "@Splendwhore is giving away a Trick Bondage Belt for Father's Day!! Who's Your Daddy?! http://bit.ly/blt9Lo Ends 6/19." {1 entry per day}
Spread the word about this giveaway! Write a post on your blog, facebook, myspace, tumblr, etc (multiple entries accepted if you post on more than one). Include a link to this contest, and leave a comment with a link to your post. {5 entries per post}

Giveaway ends June 19th, 2010. Winner will be announced on Father's Day (June 20th).
In the event that the prize is not claimed within 48 hours, a new winner will be drawn.

Thank you so very much to Eden Fantasys for sponsoring this giveaway!

Birthday LOOT!

2010-06-01T20:03:00.000-07:00

Today I went to check the mail and came back to my apartment, arms completely full with packages. So.. what did I get? I'm still so excited I could jump up and down or run naked through the apartment complex (though I think I'll contain myself). Alright, I'll tell you. I received a Voila, Black Panther, Spareparts Jogue Harness, Contour M, Contour Q, Contour I, Body Heat Pina Colada, Pink Lady Super Ribbed Fleshlight, Lelo Ina in Orange, Lelo Tor in Black, Ride Em Cowgirl Sex Position Secrets, Blush XoXo Pink/Black paddle, and a pack of Trojan Regular (non-lubricated) condoms!!!!

The best thing is? I didn't spend a dime. All of these items were either sent for review, or purchased with gift cards! I love the fact that I can be so poor, and live so richly. Okay, so technically these are surprise gifts for Sam's Birthday today. But, there are a few exceptions (Ina is mine! *Hisses*). I'm so excited! I can give my sweetie birthday spankings, a massage, and any other *ahem* favors he may ask for. *Wink, wink* I'm bouncing up and down I'm just so damn giddy! I've arranged all the toys on the top of our bookshelf. I can't wait until Sam comes home!! I am, alas, too poor to buy wrapping paper, but I'm sure he'll be ecstatic nonetheless!! Ahh.. Smell that? That's that 'new toy smell'. Right after you've taken them out of the package, before you have a chance to touch, caress, and generally defile them. I love that smell! I'm sure Sam will love it too. ^_~* Happy Birthday to my sexy significant other! Crap, I just realized I have to go hide all these boxes now...

Stellar Deals & Donations from Babeland!

2010-06-01T19:46:00.000-07:00

Alright, so I recently became a Babeland Affiliate, and as such, I figure it's my duty to inform all of you out there about the awesome Deals and whatnot that Babeland is offering! To start with, Babeland currently has a Spring Cleaning sale going on right now! You can save up to 45% OFF some great toys and accessories from Babeland! They have everything from vibrators to cockrings and DVD's on sale! So head on over and snag yourself some merch, while supplies last!

On to the Donation part of this post! Babeland is holding a fundraiser entitled "Come for a Cause"! To celebrate Gay Pride (& Babeland Pride), donations will be raised for 3 GLBT organizations starting June 1st and ending as 2010 does. So what can you do to help? Buy a Babeland Goodie Bag for the very affordable price of $6.50, and Babeland will donate $2 to their fundraiser recipients! The Goodie Bag contains 3 different lube samples, as well as Babeland condoms! So you can truly "Come for a Cause". What are you waiting for? Get on over there & help support these great organizations!

Review: Wet Naturals Beautifully Bare

2010-05-30T18:58:00.000-07:00

Being in a committed relationship with a FTM Trans man has changed the way I shop. For instance: lubes. All of our attachments are realistically shaped and colored silicone. So of course, where lube is concerned, we require something silicone friendly. This means water based lubricants. I also happen to be a fairly health conscious person. I like to be aware of just what I'm putting on or in my body. Which means I'm not just looking for a product that works for both of our parts, but is also body safe. So when Wet offered me the chance to review some of their lubricants, what did I automatically request? Wet Naturals of course! The Beautifully Bare, to be exact. A water based lubricant that is glycerin free, paraben free, sugar free (no fear of yeast infections, ladies!), pH balanced specifically for women, and enriched with vitamins and antioxidants? Yes! This was exactly what I was looking for!

Alright, let's start with my first, last, and only nitpick about this product. The ingredient list. For a natural product, it has more ingredients than I generally like to see. I prefer to keep it 10 ingredients or less. Anything more just seems like excess to me, especially if it happens to be compounds I can't pronounce or easily recognize. I'll make an exception in the case of this lubricant, mainly because it's intended to have added vitamins and antioxidants. I'm just going to close my eyes, ignore the looming label, and trust that these are indeed good-for-you ingredients. And hey! If you look, most of them actually seem okay. With names like Aloe Barbadensis Leaf Juice, Grapefruit Seed Extract, Vitamin E Extract, Grape Seed Extract, Cranberry Fruit Extract, and Clover Flower Extract, you can't go too wrong. Right?

Well, ingredients aside, let's get to the good stuff: smell, taste, touch, & use. Alright, smell. There's no immediately obvious smell to this product. If you stick the bottle right up under your nose it has a very light, watered down fruity scent. I'd assume this is because of the fruit and fruit seed extracts. Very nice, but not overpowering, and unlikely to bother even those sensitive to scented product. The taste is very similar to the smell. A very light fruity taste with a hint of something.. else. Not horrible, but probably not something I'd use on a regular basis for oral. The consistency is very liquidy, I'd say just the tiniest bit thicker than water. It feels very light and natural (as the product name, Beautifully Bare, suggests). Perfect for aiding in masturbation, or even vaginal penetration. I would NOT suggest it, however, for anal. I'd suspect it's much too thin for such use, and would probably dry up too quickly to be comfortable. I most often use this lubricant for intercourse, and it's absolutely excellent for this! With most lubricants, your first thought is probably to apply liberally. However, you don't need to use that much of this product to get sufficiently slick. On average, I probably use 2-4 drops, and I'm good to go. It spreads quickly and easily over toys and skin alike. It does have a tendency to dry up fairly quickly though, so you may have to reapply periodically throughout your session. Personally, I require lubricant mostly just for penetration. So the only time we end up needing to re-lubricate is when we switch positions.

When playtime's over, you can easily clean up by wiping down or rinsing the lubricated body parts with water. And if you're too tired or sedated to go clean up, forget about it! You can feel safe in the knowledge that this lubricant doesn't cake onto your body or get gunky and sticky after use. I was very pleased to find that it dissolves easily and unnoticed into skin, leaving no icky residues behind. Way to go Wet! One more thing that makes this lubricant fabulous!

Wet Naturals Beautifully Bare comes packaged in a transparent 3.3 oz bottle. It has a little ridged indent on one side that makes it very easy to grip (no mater how slippery your hands may be), and an easy to use flip top. The bottle does warn not to store it on it's side as it may leak, but I haven't noticed any issues. The flip top has kept my lube securely sealed, and my toy chest free from messes. Make sure to store your lubricant at room temperature, and please keep out of the reach of children. Keep out of your eyes and ears (duh), and should any irritation occur, discontinue use of this product immediately!

Alright, let's wrap this up. Wet Naturals is a great product at a great price! It has all the things I like in a lube, and none of the things I don't. It's easy to use, easy to clean up, and has enhanced many a sexual encounter. I've used this lubricant frequently for half a month or more, and I've barely put a dent in the bottle. A long lasting, less-is-more kind of product. I'll definitely be purchasing more when my supply finally runs out.

This product was provided to Tales from the ToiBox for free by Wet in exchange for an unbiased review.

Review: Just in Case and Just in Case II

2010-05-27T19:36:00.000-07:00

You're about to get lucky, and you find yourself without a condom. Crap! What do you do? Pass up the opportunity? Take a chance and hope for the best? In a world of clubs, dating services, and one night stands, this is all too common a scenario. Women of all ages are often caught in similar circumstances, unprepared; the idea of carrying contraception either not having crossed their minds, or being seen as too forward, or embarrassing. But the consequences for such inaction can be dire! Think STD's, unplanned pregnancies, and general chaos. Instead of leaving it up to chance, why not be the responsible one? Would you believe something as innocent as these gorgeous little compacts could carry all the contraception you need for a night on the town? It's true! Let me formally introduce the
Just in Case, and Just in Case II. The first, last, and only compact you'll ever really need.

The Just in Case and Just in Case II are probably the most discreet condom cases I've ever had the pleasure of using. They both appear to be regular compact mirrors, which makes them great to carry on you. However, each of these unassuming little compacts hides a secret! A hidden storage compartment neatly concealed inside, perfect for condoms, birth control, single serving lubes, or anything else you could think of. How sleek! How stylish! And most importantly, how "safe"! Toss it in your purse and you're good to go! No one will be the wiser. The original Just in Case measures 2 1/2" tall by 2 1/2" wide, and 7/8" deep. It's probably a little thicker than your standard compact, but not so much to be noticeable. The compact itself actually consists of a colorful plastic insert covered in a clear plastic casing. The casing is a truly wonderful addition, as it protects your Just in Case from getting banged up, scratched, or otherwise damaged. The top of the compact features the Just in Case logo, which is a fairly abstract design that could either be construed as a heart or an open compact, made of rhinestones. It is very cute! The Just in Case II, in contrast, is a plain black compact with the white logo imprinted upon the front. It does not feature the protective casing the original does, and is more rounded in shape. At 2 6/8" tall, 2 6/8" wide, and 6/8" deep, the Just in Case II has a slightly bigger surface size than the Just in Case, but the compartment itself is a tiny bit smaller. The only negative thing I can find to say about the Just in Case II is that the surface scratches easily. I much prefer the Just in Case, as it features that lovely protective casing which keeps your compact looking good as new!

Upon opening your Just in Case product, you'll discover a standard mirror which all compacts feature. Check your makeup, or check out that cutie sitting behind you. But don't worry, nobody will realize your sexy little secret. The mirror inside the Just in Case is the same length as the compact itself, while the mirror contained within the Just in Case II is smaller than the compact. Both are sufficiently sized, though I prefer the full length mirror of the Just in Case. The inside surface of the Just in Case products features the product name, and underneath lies that aforementioned hidden compartment for storing anything you wouldn't want seen. A small indent allows you to lift the flap to reveal the compartment underneath. When you first receive your Just in Case or Just in Case II, it comes with two complimentary condoms. I thought this was very thoughtful and really appreciated it! The type that I received are LifeStyles Ultra Sensitive Lubricated condoms. You really can't fit more than two condoms in there at a time, but this should be sufficient. As I mentioned above, it would also be sufficiently sized for storing birth control, single serving packets of lube, small batteries for your toys, stretchy cock rings, and anything else you can squeeze in there. The compartment lid closes with a resounding snap, which tells you that it is firmly and completely secured. No need to worry about condoms (or other things) tumbling out of your compact!

The Just in Case came packaged in a gorgeous red organza bag, which would make it perfect for giving as a gift (already wrapped, how nifty)! I adored the bag for the whole 5 minutes I owned it. Unfortunately my cat (whose mission in life it is to chew on and destroy everything) got ahold of this. By the time I found it, it already had a huge hole chewed out of the side, and was covered in cat saliva. I had no choice but to retire it to the trash can. What a shame. *Pouts* The Just in Case II came packaged in a cute little cardboard box, which I'm happy to say has survived both cats and humans alike.

I really love Just in Case and their products. They are all beautifully, cleverly designed with today's woman in mind. A condom case that can blend in unnoticed in your purse? Yes! Every female should own one of these! I wish I could hand them out to people on the street! I plan on giving these as gifts to my friends, as well as a few teenage relatives. I feel like this is a wonderful item for a sophisticated woman, college student, or high school girl. Safety and style are two things that transcend age, and the Just in Case promises (and delivers) both!

These products were provided to Tales from the ToiBox for free by Just in Case in exchange for an unbiased review.
To read more about Just in Case, and their philosophy, please click here.

Review: Noemie

2010-05-24T13:06:00.000-07:00

The Lovemoiselle Noemie is a truly gorgeous ceramic dildo of outstanding quality. It's one of those unique and rare toys that attracts you not for all its fancy features, but for its beautiful simplicity. From the moment you see it through the window of its sexy black box, to the instant you feel its unique sensations claiming your body, it is a joy to behold.

Read the full review on Eden Fantasys by clicking here.

$53.99Lovemoiselle Noemie

Dildo by Lovemoiselle

Material: Ceramic

Safety:

Buy from EdenFantasys

This product was provided to Tales from the ToiBox for free by Eden Fantasys in exchange for an unbiased review.

How NOT to be Discreet: Condom Stickers

2010-05-22T01:33:00.000-07:00

Y'know those companies that promise discreet shipping? Discreet as in, "We promise we won't put nude girls, XXX, or giant condom stickers on the outside of your packaging"? I always thought that was very considerate. It seems like everyone these days has adopted discreet shipping methods. Well, almost everyone. This is the package I received in the mail yesterday. I guess they must've missed the memo...

My sweetheart was cracking up when he saw this! Oh yes, he thought it was hilarious. I did too, but I'm still mortified. C'mon people! I know you're sending me condoms, you know you're sending me condoms, but does the rest of the world really need to know?! My poor mail man. He has to live with the knowledge of how sexually active & "safe" I am. I hope I don't get any suspicious looks from him the next time he brings a package to the door. Thankfully this one was small enough to fit in the mail box, so I never had to see his reaction. Still, I feel this somewhat *cough* suggestive packaging might put a damper on our relationship. And now I feel strange and icky for even conceiving the notion of a relationship with the mailman. This whole ordeal has left me in need of therapy, and a shower. Please excuse me while I scrub disturbing thoughts from my mind. Dear lord, I may never be clean..

Fun with Food: Salmon-burger Smiley Face!

2010-05-20T17:32:00.000-07:00

Today for lunch we had Salmon burgers. We cooked them in a skillet in olive oil, sprinkled with a little lemon juice and pepper for flavor, and then lovingly arranged on 1/2 a bun with a light layer of mayo, avocado, and tomato to top it all off. Onion rings took their rightful place on the side, and an organic raspberry soda was shared between the two of us to quench the inevitable thirst. Now, I don't know about you, but this seemed like entirely too grown-up of a lunch to me. So, in preserving my child-like spirit, we had a little fun with food. Voila! Salmon-burger Smiley face. Hope you enjoy! I know I did.

Review: Fantasy Gag

2010-05-18T22:22:00.000-07:00

Hey look, a dick head! Doesn't it just bring you back to your rawest, wildest fantasies? As it well should! After all, this is the Fantasy Gag you're eying with such lust. The first time I saw it, I knew I had to have it. I have an obsession: part oral fixation, & part love of all things phallic in appearance. So, naturally, a toy that incorporates my two most primal desires simply had to be mine. The fantasy gag comes in a clamshell case with the Tantus Logo and the words "Silicone Fantasy Gag; Satisfy your oral fixation" on the front. The penis shaped plug-style gag sits above two leather straps held together by a rubber band. A thin cardboard insert explains the material & care of your new plaything.

The straps, as I said, are leather, with two metal snaps on one side, and a strip of velcro on the other. Let's just stop a second and ask the question we're all dying to know the answer to: Really Tantus, why Velcro? The velcro closure does make this gag easy as cherry pie to remove, but it also snags hair, attracts fuzz, and won't fit those with too large or small of a neck. *Sighs* Alright, fine. You decided to put velcro on it. I can live, I'll deal with it. But couldn't you have put more velcro? Personally, I've had issues getting this to stay on or close fully because my neck is so small (or perhaps the straps are just so large?). Anyways, I digress. To attach the straps to your gag you simply thread the snap ends of the straps through the slits on either side of your gag and snap into place. Tantus suggests you remove the straps before cleaning, but once you get them on they're somewhat difficult to take off.

The gag itself is 2 3/4 insertable inches of sexy black silicone to shove deep down your throat, or just let rest gently against your tongue. At 1 5/8" in diameter, this is a large, filling toy that imitates the sensation of giving head ~~without being uncomfortable~~.Wait, scratch that last part. Maybe I have a small jaw, maybe I'm just unused to the feeling of something foreign stuffed in mouth, but every time I've worn this gag it's left me sore. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy that feeling of a big jet black dick stabbing me in the back of the throat, I just can't tolerate the pain that it brings my jaw. I also have the gag reflex of a virgin, but after a few sessions with the Fantasy Gag, I'm learning to overcome the need to yack. A base at the bottom of the gag fits snugly over the wearer's lips/general mouth region, and supposedly makes this easier for a beginner. Because it's so filling, it easily muffles the words of its wearer, but will not, however, completely deter screams or moans. The silicone is soft, but firm and will stand up to whatever biting you happen to throw its way. Just to test out the durability of it, I bit down as hard as I physically could and removed it for inspection. The gag was left undamaged, save for some small practically unnoticeable indents where my teeth had been. I was impressed, and happy, to say the least. So bite, chew, suck, and screw your mouth all you want with this gorgeous thing. You aren't going to harm it any.

Being made of 100% food grade silicone, this toy is hypo-allergenic, non-porous, & both phthalates & latex free. It has no taste or odor, which is awesome, because who wants a smelly, bad tasting toy shoved in their mouth? Not I. Cleanup is simple. Remove the straps (if you can), and wash with soap and warm water. You may also boil the silicone gag for 3-5 minutes, or wipe down with a 10% bleach solution. Do NOT immerse the leather straps in water. If you feel the need to clean them, please do so with either a damp rag, or a leather cleaner. Be sure that all parts of your gag are completely dry before storing. Keep in an equally dry place, out of the light.

Alright, I'm sure you can tell by now that this gag didn't exactly live up to my lofty expectations. It was my first gag, and while I liked it, while it's attractive and fun, it wasn't comfortable to wear. It didn't work for me, but that doesn't mean it couldn't work out for you. I'd also like to note that while I will not continue using this as a gag, I will use it in other ways. I tested out playing with the gag without the straps attached, and I have to say I much preferred this method. I'm able to control how much of its length I have in my mouth, and I can more freely suck and play with it. I also greatly enjoyed having my partner fuck me from behind and simultaneously fuck my mouth with this toy, fulfilling one of my greatest fantasies. I guess you could say that the Fantasy Gag and I have a love/hate relationship that I'm hoping, with time, might evolve into pure enjoyment.

This product was provided to Tales from the ToiBox for free by Eden Fantasys in exchange for an unbiased review.

$34.99Fantasy gag Mouth gag by Tantus Material: Silicone / Leather Safety: Buy from EdenFantasys
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer.

Petition to Save the Life of Kiana Firouz

2010-05-13T16:30:00.000-07:00

Outspoken Iranian LGBT rights activist, filmmaker, and actress Kiana Firouz's life is threatened! Starring in the newly released UK film Col de Sac, a documentary based on the conditions of lesbians in Iran (and largely Firouz's own life experience), has put her in danger. Since the trailer was posted on YouTube in December 2009, Cul de Sac has attracted global media attention, with thousands of views. It's likely that it hasn't gone unnoticed by the media and government in Iran either. "Homosexuality in Iran, treated according to the Islamic law, is a sin in the eyes of God and a crime for society. In Islam generally homosexuality is among the worst possible sins you can imagine."

In Iran, lesbianism is punishable by 100 lashes. This punishment may be committed up to three times. After a fourth violation of Iranian law, a woman found guilty of “unrepentant homosexuality” will be publicly executed by hanging. Firouz, fearing for her life, sought asylum from the British government. Her application was rejected. They are fully aware of her sexual orientation, the fact that she may, at any moment, be deported, and that should that happen, it will ultimately lead to her torture and death. No one should be punished, tortured, let alone killed, for who they chose to love (or make love to). Help save this brave woman's life. Sign the petition to stop deporting Kiana Firouz!

My Little Black Dress

2010-05-12T19:18:00.000-07:00

So today I bought my first real piece of lingerie!!! Dragged Sam over to a local sex store, and probably spent about an hour trying on different ensembles before finally deciding upon the first thing I picked out. It was a little black satin chemise. All silky soft, sexy and smooth. It fit, it made me feel good about myself, and most importantly, it wasn't a clown suit. Don't get me wrong, that was probably the sexiest clown suit I've ever worn (not that I've worn many), but I was feeling more comedic rather than 'come hither'. But wait! Today wasn't just about shopping. No, this was an educational outing as well. For instance, I learned that shelf bra's are really for women with bigger boobs. I learned that while fishnet panties seem like a good idea in theory, they don't play out so well in practice. I figured out those confusing bustier sizes actually go by bra size. I had an awkward moment between myself and the sales clerk when she offered to help me try on a corset (apparently they have to tie you into those things, like a straight jacket). I touched an opened, vibrating toy that the clerk had behind her counter and had a brief moment where I wondered if it had been used.. And best of all, I got to see the Ina close up in all three colors, and found I really love it in the green, which is not so hideous in person as it is online. All in all, a very good day.

Grand Opening: Trans Central Station

2010-05-12T01:15:00.000-07:00

Guess what? Eden Fantasys is hosting personal stores! What's a personal store? It is essentially an affiliate run section of the site where a specific user has the ability to list certain products they feel appropriate to sell to their target audience. Not just anyone can open a personal store, however. You have to pitch a unique idea to the big wigs on the forums, saying "Hey, there's a need for this or that, let me put my spin on it", and then get your idea approved. I feel very blessed to have been given the opportunity to open one of my own. It's geared towards Transgendered people and their partners. Being in a committed relationship with a pre-testosterone, pre-surgery FTM Trans man, I know how difficult it can sometimes be to find sexual fulfillment in a way that feels the most natural to us. It's a daily struggle not only with the ways in which we have sex, but also the way our gender is perceived and acted upon. I started this store as a guide for all of us out there who are just trying to discover ourselves. May this help you, and your lovers, find pleasure and happiness. So here's my store!! Feel free to browse through my current merchandise, suggest new products on my forums, and (of course) buy stuff! :D

Clownin' Around (Brought to you by The Bloggess)

2010-05-11T12:56:00.000-07:00

So as some of you may or may not know, I recently won a very unique prize from SexIs. The Bloggess, crazy outta control lady that she is, completely took over SexIs Magazine for a week and was giving away what some might consider whimsical gifts. I recall a sparkly vampire penis, and a unicorn horn dildo. Then, there was the clown suit. Ah yes, the clown suit. You see, The Bloggess was making her first foray into the world of Clown Porn. She was even so kind as to model a few different outfits. So, what did I happen to win that week? Because yes, I did win a prize. And oh mama, what a prize it was! Well, I won this very sexy little number. It has frills, bows, and looks rather like someone stole a picnic blanket and decided to wear it. This one-size-fits-your-whole-family costume is sure to frighten little children on Halloween, or even on a daily basis at the grocery store.

Now, clowns aren't exactly my personal fetish (though I'm not judging you if they're yours), but I figured it was best not to look a gifted clown suit in the.. well, wherever you'd look. So, in fully embracing this, um, wonderful gift, I've gone ahead and put together a few photos of me modeling the costume & a very snazzy purple wig. In the words of The Bloggess herself, "Enjoy! (As much as you *can* enjoy an oversized clown outfit, that is)".

OhMiMother's Day WINNER!!!

2010-05-09T11:57:00.000-07:00

We all know what you're here for... You want to know who won the OhMiBod Giveaway! First, I'd like to thank everyone who participated. It was an absolute blast! Be sure to keep an eye out for more giveaways & contests soon to come from Tales from the ToiBox! Okay, I'm not going to prolong your anticipation any longer. So, without further ado, the winner is: Gardenvy!!! Congratulations! Please contact me with your shipping info, & I'll get your prize sent out to you. You have a 48 hour window to claim this prize, at which time if you do not, another winner will be selected.

Review: ToiBocks

2010-05-08T19:29:00.000-07:00

Do you have roommates? Children? Nosy in-laws? Yup, it's as I feared. You also likely have no privacy, a hoard of poorly hidden sex toys, and too many busy bodies sticking their noses where noses never belonged. You, my dear friend, need a ToiBocks. I mean literally need it. It's detrimental to your sexual health, overall happiness and well being. No, don't even try to dissuade me. I will witness your horny frustrated sufferings no longer! Prepare to be liberated from your previously depressing lifestyle of secrecy and paranoia. So, what is a ToiBocks, you ask? Oh dear, it's worse than I thought..

Okay, let me break it down for you. The ToiBocks is a discreet, locking storage system that's no more incriminating than a jewelry box. Made of a gorgeous, smooth, cherry finished wood, it is a very classy addition to any dresser or nightstand. Upon opening the hinged lid you are greeted by a luxurious red velvet interior. All that is immediately visible is the top tray, which can be used for jewelry, toys, or anything else you'd like to keep close at hand. I most often use this section for jewelry, as I don't want my mom, grandma, or any other guests getting a naughty surprise! It's pretty obvious that there's a compartment underneath, because of the ToiBocks' depth, as well as the seam where the inside of the box meets the outside edges of the tray. But anyone who tries to lift it and peek underneath will be met with resistance, because this little beauty has a hidden lock! I won't tell you how to open it, as that is a secret only its owners are privy to. However, I will divulge that it locks using a magnetic key which can be stored on the ToiBocks itself, or tucked away somewhere safe.

Let's talk dimensions. In total, the ToiBocks is 11" long, by 7" wide, by 6.25" tall. It's not very large, but can hold an unprecedented amount! Really, there's more room in there than you'd first suspect. The secured storage compartment underneath is 10" long, by 6" wide, by 2.5" tall. Like I said, not huge, but big enough to store quite a few things! Really, it could be used to store anything you like: toys, porn, documents, valuables, or even cash. Personally, I just use mine for sex toys and accessories. Currently my ToiBocks is occupied by the Freestyle, Noemie, Wave Wand, Mia, Ophoria K-balls, Delight click 'n' charge, Ella, & an mp3 player (to accompany the Freestyle). I could honestly fit much, much more within its confines, but I prefer to keep only my favorite, most frequently used playthings there. It's so convenient to have them right at my fingertips the moment I want or need them. If spontaneity strikes, I don't want to go digging through boxes to find what I'm looking for. For that reason, the ToiBocks is really a great 'heat of the moment' accessory. I suppose if you're really strapped for space, and don't mind others seeing your sexy collection, you could always remove the tray and pile your toys sky high. For me though, my favorite feature is definitely the fact that it can be neatly closed and hidden away.

As far as maintenance for this item goes, I'd merely suggest using a standard wood surface cleaner, and a soft cloth. Never use abrasive objects to scrub or wipe your ToiBocks, as they will likely scratch or otherwise mar the finish. Keep all lubes, lotions, and body butters tightly contained to prevent leaks, which could stain the interior. Treat it right, and this quality built item is sure to last you for years to come.

In closing, this is a truly creative, well thought out storage system that would fit well with any decor and is very functional. The ToiBocks would make a lovely gift for a friend, relative, or even just yourself. Perfect for practically anyone, regardless of age, marital status, or living circumstance. An exquisite piece, which will eternally rest in it's rightful place, next to my bed.

This product was provided to Tales from the ToiBox for free by ToiBocks in exchange for an unbiased review.

$99.99The original toibocks

Storage container by ToiBocks

Material: Wood

Safety:

Buy from EdenFantasys

S-Spree?!

2010-05-06T14:51:00.000-07:00

AdulSexToys.com is giving away a $300 Shopping Spree!!! Okay, I honestly don't have the time to have a mild hysterical fit again so shortly after that last one. But, here we are.. 2 Shopping spree's in as many months. Is this a coincidence, or fate? Perhaps a chance at winning the toys I so justly deserved but did not receive last time.. Yes, yes that must be it! In any case, I physically could not pass up the chance to win such an amazing giveaway. So I did it, I entered.. again. You too can enter by clicking here. Assemble a list of sex toys that roughly totals $300, and publish it on your blog. But don't get your hopes up, 'cause this shopping spree is all mine! ...I hope. Please?

Mona Red - $128.15

I've never tried a G-spot vibrator that's worked, really worked, for me. I've heard amazing things about the Mona, and I'm ready to become a believer. Lelo, in general, is an amazing brand. I have the Ella and the Mia, both of which I love. I'm hoping to add the gorgeous Mona in red to my growing collection of their toys.

Nea Deep Rose - $83.60

Clitoral stimulation is one of my favorite sexual past times. As much as I love penetration, clitoral stimulation is my apple pie. The one thing I love, and seriously can't get enough of. The Nea in deep rose seems like the perfect solution. A tiny little clit vibrator, that appears to curve to the female physique.

Share Baby Rose - $92.29

Being in a relationship with a FTM Trans man, we have a lot of strap on sex. And while it's great, amazing even, I know that if we could somehow connect on a more intimate level to our actions, it could be phenomenal! Here's where the Share comes in. Double ended dildos? Yes, please!

-----------------------------------------------

Total: $304.04

May Giveaways & Contests!

2010-05-06T13:41:00.000-07:00

Man, it seems like as soon as one giveaway ends three more pop up! Don't you just love it?! It's like a big circle of giving! I seriously never mind being on the receiving end. I've already won a ton of fabulous prizes, & now it's your turn! All these chances at winning some seriously sexy gear, and you're still sitting here listening to me babble? What are you waiting for, go get your giveaway on!

Get Inspire(d)! Ends 5/9.
Mother's Day Giveaway. Ends 5/11.
Squeeze some VixSkin! Ends 5/13.
Win Your Very Own We-Vibe! Ends 5/13.
Review & Giveaway: Eden Fantasys. Ends 5/15.
Corset Giveaway! Ends 5/16.
One Condoms Giveaway. Ends 5/21.
Summer is Cumming. Ends 5/22.
Eden Fantasys $25 GC Giveaway. Ends 5/22.
Get Your Vibe on with My First Contest! Ends 5/24.
Kissa me Twice! Ends 5/30.
Dirty Thirty & Contest! Ends 5/31.
Enter to Win an Incoqnito Lambskin collar! Ends 5/31.
Vamp Dildo Giveaway. Ends 6/1.
Eden Fantasys Giveaway! Ends 6/4.
SJ BizzyToys.com Giveaway! Ends 6/16.
Eden Fantasys "Lucky Dad" Giveaway. Ends 6/16.

(This list is updated periodically throughout the month of May.)

Review: Wave Wand

2010-05-04T01:49:00.000-07:00

Isn't it just gorgeous? What is it, you ask? Why it's the Wave Wand by WHK GmbH! A classic style dildo with a little extra texture. The Wave wand is 7" in total length, 5 1/2" insertable, & 1" in diameter. One end features a large bulb, while the shaft consists of three smaller, gentle "waves". Made of Tempered glass, this toy is non-porous, hypo-allergenic, and free of both pthalates & latex. It has no taste or odor, and can be sterilized for safe use with a partner, or for switching between orifices. Yes, you heard me, you can stick this in your ass. Just make sure to use the narrower end, as the large bulb makes a sufficient handle.

So, what's it good for? Practically anything! It makes an amazing dildo, effectively hitting the g-spot with remarkable ease. If necessary, you can even angle it (somewhat akin to a joystick) to apply more pressure to your g-spot. My favorite use of the larger end is for clitoral stimulation. It's big enough to locate & stimulate your clit without too much slip-sliding around it. I have yet to test this anally, as I have a virginal ass and am frankly terrified to stick anything up there without first administering a whole lotta lube (alas, I am lube-less). But because of it's small size and easy insertion, I'd have to say this would probably be wonderful for even the tiniest booty. Oh yes, did I mention? Because the wand is made of tempered glass, it's super smooth to touch and glides gracefully into whatever bodily hole you choose to stick it. It's also very firm (duh, it's glass), and so it not only knows how to find your g-spot, but also just how to treat it. Okay, so maybe all you size-queens out there won't be satisfied, but I sure as hell am! Do you know what a relief it is to own such a simple, gorgeous, small toy? Even Sam, utterly horrified of vibrators or dildos of any stature approaching his girly bits, has tried this one out a few times. It's a perfect toy for a beginner (ergo Sam), or for those who need a little warm up before strapping on the big guns (aka me).

But wait-- There's more! Let's heat things up a bit, or cool them down as the case may be. Let me reiterate. Tempered glass can be safely heated or cooled and will maintain its temperature! It's just that nifty. Now I'm not suggesting you toss this in the freezer or, heaven forbid, try to microwave it. Those are both big huge no-no's! Extreme temperature changes such as mentioned above will most likely crack, shatter, or otherwise damage your wand. We don't want that! It's such a luscious, lovely little toy. So, how do we get all the fun of temperature play without any danger to our delicate little friend? Less extreme methods. To heat it run it under warm water, being mindful not to burn your nether regions, obviously! To cool, you may do the same but with cold water, or leave it in the refrigerator for a few minutes. Strangely I've found I appreciate cold sensations more than hot. I can't honestly pinpoint the reason, but the feel of that cold glass softly caressing my breasts, thighs, labia.. Mm, it gives me chills just thinking about it!

After you've had your fun wash the Wave Wand with antibacterial soap and warm water, or your favorite toy cleaner. Want to sterilize this for sharing with a partner or alternate orifice? Simply boil for 10 minutes, toss it in the dishwasher on the top shelf with no soap, or soak in a 10% bleach solution. Always check this toy for cracks or dings before each use. If it's damaged do NOT use it. This toy is compatible with oil, water, & silicone based lubes. So lubricate to your hearts content! Although it's so incredibly smooth, you practically don't need to. Store in a dry, secure place where it isn't likely to clank around.

Always a favorite, the Wave Wand is kept by my nightstand for convenience. It is probably my most frequently used toy, and with good reason. Its simple design and small size make it ideal. It's the narrowest, smoothest thing I own and I find myself reaching for it almost daily. The waves provide a wonderful sensation when thrusting that isn't distracting or painful. I love that it's textured, but not so incredibly textured as to be off-putting to the inexperienced. Amazing to use by itself, or to start things off slow and prolong your play. It's my go-to warm up toy for when I'm prepping for larger playthings. It's bath time friendly, discreet, and probably the best multi-functional tool I've yet seen. So grab your boogie board and step into your suit. No matter which way you play, you're in for a wet and wild ride!

This product was purchased by Tales from the ToiBox with no expectation of review.

$25.99Wave wand

Glass wands by WHK GmbH

Material: Tempered glass

Safety:

Buy from EdenFantasys

Diary of a Mad Menstruating Woman

2010-05-01T16:19:00.000-07:00

"And on the 7th Day, God invented the Period to make women suffer for one stupid bitch's mistake. Thanks Eve, thanks."

~Splendwhore

Do you think it could be considered egotistical to quote yourself? *Shrugs* Whatever. I'm an arrogant prick when I want to be. Deal with it. ^.^ Anyways, as you can see from my self-quoted quotation, I am suffering through my monthly birth right. Yay, I was born female! I automatically draw the short stick in life. Men will look down on me & devalue my opinions. I'm expected to stay home, get fat, pop out a few kids, and have a hot meal and my legs spread eagle whenever my guy decides to grace me with his presence. Oh, and one more thing: I will consistently bleed from the genitals once a month, every month, until my body withers up and loses it's ability to produce offspring. Awesome.. fan-fucking-tastic! You know if a man bled from his penis once, just once, he would be in the fetal position on the floor, crying and begging for the suffering to end. Okay, so sometimes women cry on their period, but we also get downright ruthless! For instance: When I'm on my period you better not even look at me wrong, or your testicles will be down your throat before you can even blink. No joke man, no fucking joke. This is the diary of a mad menstruating woman. There's no telling what I'm liable to do when I'm bleeding from the cooch.

And don't you even dare ask me for sex! Okay, we all know I want it, but I'm sure as shit not getting it from you. Naw, I'll wait till your gone at work all day, leaving me alone and bored with nothing to do but clean and rant on my blog. Then I'll take 4 or 5 of my prettiest playthings and go to town on myself. Me? I'm not afraid of a little blood. The lovely bright red contrasting against an elegant white toy. It's almost arousing, seeing something so beautiful become so dirty at my hands. Ice cold fingertips ghost across hot flesh. Electricity ripples just beneath my skin, exciting the nerves, overpowering the senses. Blood pumps faster and faster, bleeding life out from where life first crawled. I am the maiden, the mother, the crone. I am creation, and life; my body holds its secrets. I writhe and arch, the pleasure that I bring is my own. This is for myself, and nobody else. Empowered by these thoughts, I tip the boat and dip once, twice, three or four times into the pool of enlightenment. Ecstacy overtakes me, body and soul, and I am one with the universe...

Four miraculous, mind blowing orgasms later I'm eating leftover Chinese that was so much better yesterday, and bitching to the world about my monthly cycle. I'm not even angry or upset right now. I'm so damn mellow from that sex session I just finished, I can almost feel myself smiling! And every once in a while, I catch myself humming a jaunty tune. But Fuck you! I want to watch sappy love movies and eat ice cream. I want to make out and rile you up, then glide just outside the reach of those questing hands. I'm going to bitch and rant and rave, and make you cuddle me every single night. We're eating what I want for dinner, and I'm not fucking making it. Y'know why? Cause I'm on my period, and it's my damn birth right. Just a week outta the month, I'd like to get my way. Is that so horrible? What.. it is? Well who asked you anyways. ;P

Warning: All content herein contained is not to be taken seriously in any way.

Please, don't get a stick up your ass about something ridiculous I said.

Please & Thanks.

~Splendwhore

Review: Onye

2010-04-27T11:04:00.000-07:00

Ah, the Onye. Beauty redefined. Made of baby pink silicone and shimmery white plastic, it truly is elegance incarnate. Onye is a stunning "discreet" vibrator from Big Teaze Toys. It looks much like an giant pill, or hefty tampon, only much prettier. Powerful, tingly vibrations make this an excellent clitoral vibe. It's also strong enough to be felt through clothing, if you're in the mood to be a little naughty and tease yourself or a loved one. Because of its small size, it is not intended for deep insertion. However, it's absolutely delicious for shallow penetration! Insert Onye up to as far as the silicone band, and let it work its magic! Because of its lack of a flared base, I would suggest against using this for anal play. It would be all to easy too lose this in your ass. Onye's body is smooth and silky to the touch, making it great for beginners and advanced users alike. It's fairly quiet, and would be an excellent toy for travel or shared living. As long as you've got some batteries on hand, there's fun to be had.

Read the full review on Eden Fantasys by clicking here.

Onye Discreet massager by Big Tease Toys Material: Silicone / Plastic Safety: $55.99 Buy from EdenFantasys
Rating:	Vroom:	Bee:

This product was provided to Tales from the ToiBox for free by Eden Fantasys in exchange for an unbiased review.